FUTURE OF TTC {10.13.2015}

It irks me to write this, but I needed to update on my current TTC situation. Well, round 4, the "final round", as we are so lovingly referring to it, was a total bust! Disappointed. Frustrated. Hurt. Puzzled. Confused. Nervous. I could list about fifteen more words to describe how we feel, but I think you get the point. I hate being negative, no, I loathe it! Negativity is such a waste of time and emotion, but sometimes, in life, you just have to face the facts and realize that not every day is going to be happy and wonderful. Sometimes bad news will happen. Your bad news may not be the same as my bad news and I'm sure some will probably say that my bad news, isn't that bad. I guess in the big scheme of things, it's really not. I have a wonderful husband. I have two beautiful and totally amazing fur-babies. I have a nice car. I have a wonderful apartment. Life is good. Infertility, on the other hand, sucks! If I've said it once, I've said it a million times...it sucks!!!

 

 The fact of the matter is, this is the second full year of Clomid and my doctor basically told me "enough is enough!" My options are limited. Clomid, unassisted, aka with my OBGYN, is not an option anymore. He is now referring me out to a fertility specialist. Oh boy! What joy! More money down the drain for something that has a fifty percent chance of working. Though, I'm not sure where this journey will take us, I never ever expected us to have to go to a fertility specialist. I could have sworn we would have gotten pregnant with a healthy baby no problem on Clomid. I will admit, though it really does sound like I'm being a Debbie-downer, and I guess in some ways, I am, but I really am happy, or at least a small percentage of me is happy, that I will finally have a fertility specialist who will monitor everything! I guess, my only complaint, is the cost factor. I mean...can we just take a second to recognize that fertility treatment is not affordable at all. There's the constant doctors visits, the ultrasounds, blood draws, medications, the procedure it's self. It's all expensive and we have to pay out of pocket for fertility expenses.

 

Alright, now that my rant is over, I can tell you what our plans are. Currently, we are trying to get an appointment with a fertility clinic. They are so impossible to reach with Texas being so big, the Drs. are always swamped. Luckily, the clinic of my choosing, is literally a block away from my house. Convenient! So, as for now, I will visit with my fertility specialist in November. Treatment will likely start after the holidays because, let's face it, no one wants to deal with fertility treatment during the happy holiday season. And, with the gifts we will be buying for family members, we will need the extra time to gather up all the money.  

 

This post is much longer than I expected it to be, and I am realizing that majority of it is going to sound like I am just miserable, but truth is, I'm really not. I'm blessed. Sure, this is a struggle. Every TTC sister knows that infertility is nothing but hills and valleys and sometimes you'll have your high moments, but there will also be lots of lows moments too. At the end of the day, I am reminded that I am blessed. I am reminded that God has made a promise and I know that He is a gracious and caring God who will answer our prayers. I'm looking forward to moving to a whole new doctor. I'm looking forward to being monitored, maybe we will finally get some answers, but even if we don't at least we will have someone who will guide us each step and reassure us. So, here's to another round, another day. In the words of Michael Buble (who wasn't the original singer but his is my favorite version), "it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, for me, and I'm feeling good!"

 

 

 

 

SPEAK UP {05.07.2015}

I am not normally the type of person to "vent" or complain about things. I usually always try to see the bright side of everything, but recently, there has been something weighing on my mind. For my fellow TTC sisters, you know first hand how frustrating it can be when you know you were made to do something so simple as have sex, and get pregnant, and can't do it on your own! It's not only frustrating, it's degrading. It {infertility} goes against everything we were taught in our younger years. I still remember clear as day all my High School teachers talking and preaching about how easy it is to get pregnant. Well, that's not true for everyone. Not for E and I, or the other 1 out of 8 couples out there.

Back to that thing on my mind...recently I was talking with a friend about my 3 years long TTC journey. And as we were talking, she reminded me how she "briefly" struggled. Now, please don't take this the wrong way. But if you only "struggled" for less than a year to get pregnant, then that wasn't really much of a struggle was it? Sure, you probably had some frustration and heartache in there, but less than 1 year verses the likes of couples such as E and I who have had this battle on-going for 3+ years...So, she reminded me about her "brief" months of TTC and how she was so upset and angry. She talked about how she tried X, Y, and Z things and nothing worked until she finally just "gave up." Then BOOM! She was pregnant!

Well here's the thing...let me just let you in on an extremely short version of my TTC journey with E.

For the first year of TTC we had no idea why we couldn't get pregnant but assumed it was due to no ovulation or PCOS. To our surprise, I had no PCOS but was right on the money with the no ovulation part. The Dr put me on Provera to start my period (since I barely ever had one), then drugged me with Clomid and this continued for 5 rounds. We got pregnant after the second round of 100mg Clomid but lost the baby at 10 weeks. Then, we got pregnant again after the four round of 100mg Clomid but lost that baby at 6 weeks. Now, I am facing Provera, Clomid, Progesterone, countless ultrasounds and blood draws, and yet all my tests keep coming back perfectly fine! Guess you could call it "Unexplained Infertility." Well, you can imagine the frustration when people (not just friends and family) say things like: "just relax, it will happen" "oh don't worry, I struggled for a few months too and it happened pretty fast" ect., ect., ect.

I would never wish infertility on anyone, but sometimes it can be so annoying when people don't realize that it just isn't like that for some people. E and I have tried the "relax it will happen" all of 2014 and guess what? I didn't have but maybe 2 cycles with 0 ovulation and surprise, surprise- I did not get pregnant! Sure 1 year maybe isn't enough for the time period people would like to hear but either way we tried it and nothing happened. We can't just sit around waiting for cycles that never happen, trying to get pregnant on cycles where I don't ovulate because I didn't take medication.

Maybe that's the most frustrating part. E and I really have no option but to use medication. We have both been tested and are absolutely fine. No major problems other than Dr's have no idea why we can't get pregnant on our own or keep the baby. At the end of the day, I just want people around the world to realize that infertility is a battle, a struggle, an on-going, endless circle of aggravation, sadness, and pain. It's not fun. No one wakes up and thinks, "I'd LOVE to be able to struggle through infertility for a few years, waste a whole lot of money, and get absolutely nothing out of it but maybe a few miscarriages and heartaches." Most of us TTC ladies wake up thinking, "My only dream and prayer is to be able to carry one, healthy baby to full term." Crazy huh? Half of the TTC community would celebrate every single day of the rest of our lives if we could just get one little baby and yet, there are people out there with two or more just waiting to find ways to get rid of them or complain about how hard it is and how "you should just wait" or "come babysit then you wont want children."

I guess this venting session was really just a way for me to get out all my thoughts. Maybe people need to see the heartache because even though I may seem happy all the time, I can promise you that my heartbreaks just the same as everyone else's. And that goes for the TTC community as a whole. Even the few that get pregnant in less than a year, I know their hearts break too from the sight of those negative pregnancy tests, bad news Dr's appointments, and degrading comments from passers standing by.

Let me just leave on at least a few good notes. 1) I have faith. I have faith that the Lord, my Savior, my God will keep His word for me to go forth, be fruitful, and multiply. 2) I have learned how to be grateful in the good times, and faithful in the bad times. 3) No matter what, keep going! I always remind myself that a dream or goal is worth the wait and the hard work. 4) Sometimes things don't go your way. Too many times TTC sisters turn their backs from God because they can't understand why we aren't getting what we want, when the truth is, God isn't giving us what we want because He has already planned what we need to fulfill our lives. And Lastly, 5) always find hope and grace in the journey. There are so many negative things to be said and thought about infertility, but bottom line is, the journey makes that healthy miracle baby all worth it. And, if you're lucky, will blossom a whole new relationship with your significant other.

God Bless, Baby Dust, and Well Wishes to my TTC Sisters

TTC HAUL VIDEO & MORE {04.02.2015}

So this is the Rainbow Edition of my TTC Haul! This is a list of the items that help our TTC journey and if you are new to the TTC world, maybe these will help you too! I went ahead and added my YouTube video as well so you can watch. For reference, I went ahead and added the list below...Enjoy!!!

TTC HAUL : RAINBOW BABY EDITION

Provera - 5 Days at 10MG

• This is a prescription drug that is take to help start AF
• Used typically in conjunction with fertility drugs/treatment but can definitely be used without

Clomid - CD 2 thru 6 at 100MG

• This is a prescription drug that is taken to force the body to ovulate
• Used for women who have been TTC for more than 1year if under 35, or 6months if over 35

OPKs - 10 Days using Clear Blue and First Response

• Can be purchased at convenience/grocery stores
• Assists in tracking ovulation
• Works best if used in conjunction with BBT charting and CM tracking

Pre-Seed - CD 8 thru 20 (every other day)

• Can be purchased at convenience/grocery stores
• Use at least 10 minutes before BDing if injecting, of immediately before if using just as an assistant to BDing if dry due to fertility medications

Progesterone - Daily, after positive OPK

• This is a prescription drug that is taken only after ovulation takes place
• Helps produce more progesterone in the body
• Promotes health fetus growth
• *has the potential to eliminate the possibility of miscarriage*
• Only taken up to 10 weeks of pregnancy

 

Remember to keep your heads up ladies! We WILL get our Rainbow babies!

 

 

Wishes, Love, and Baby Dust to all my fellow TTC Sisters out there!

 

 

P.S.: Next Doctor's appointment is scheduled for Wednesday, April 8 at 9:20am. I am looking forward to sharing this "hisk risk", bumpy but blessed, TTC Journey!

 



Meal Prepping, Planning, & Organizing

Today we will talk about Meal Planning, Prepping, and Organization! 

Let's start with...

Meal Planning! 

This is always fun for me because I love being organized and if I have a schedule, I usually can stick to it. Follow along with my photos to see how I meal plan.

1)

First I start with the pervious weeks planner.

2) 

I cross out what I don't need for this week (usually because I have left overs) and then I circle things I will need to double up on. You can also see that I will write how many times or how many of those items I will need. 

3) 

I write down my grocery list based off of my highlights, circles, and numbers. 

4) 

I plan my meals for the week. The top meal is dinner, below that is my breakfast and off to the side are my snacks for that day. The hubs usually grabs lunch so I don't make him anything.

5)

& now it's time to go shopping! 

Pretty simple for meal planning. Now on to...

Meal Prepping!

Basically I will go down the list of lunches and snacks and pre-pack everything. I do not pre-cook dinners, however I will pre-cut and pre-package my veggies. Here are some samples of what I package...

Here is my green bell pepper and egg omelet, seasoned with Cajun seasoning. 

This is my favorite meal prep breakfast! 1 boiled egg, green grapes, and mozzarella string cheese. (My typical breakfast if you've been following my PCOS Diet Days)

And I do make the hubs eggs and bacon...so delicious...I'm so jealous!! Hehe 

Now let's move to the final topic...

Meal Organization!

I love my fridge! Probably one of my most favorite things. It is so organized and I'll explain how I organize it. 

Alrightly, so obviously at the bottom we have two drawers left drawer is veggies, right is fruits. (Pretty basic lol)

Above that is drinks! (BTW we had more gallons but I left them in the car)

In the little drawer I keep cheese sticks, bacon, and any extra things that might be hanging around.

Next is the breakfast and lunch packages. Far left is my breakfast packages, next to that is the hubs' breakfast packages, beside that is my lunches which are salads and grilled chicken, and then finally far right is chicken for dinners. 

Top level far right are my pineapple packages, I do have a few more days of lunches on the top, but to the far right, is all of our chopped veggies in individual containers. 

Well ladies, that is all I've got for Meal Planning, Prepping, and Organization. I hope this inspires you. Before I end, I always cook all the food (boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, bacon, and my grilled chicken for the salads) the day I go grocery shopping. I also chop up all the veggies that day as well. It makes dinners so easy when I just have to cook the chicken or fish and throw the veggies in a pan. Makes meal time so easy! I hope you enjoyed this and I hope it helps you! 

For those interested...here is a Meal Plan chart that you can use: http://www.theprojectgirl.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/mealplanner22.gif

Well Wishes and Baby Dust