STEP ONE | CHECK {10.14.2015}

Well, after my long and ridiculous rant yesterday, I picked myself up and I'm ready to move forward with this process. First step, schedule doctors appointment, is complete! My first, really second, fertility specialist appointment is scheduled for Friday, October 30. I'm thrilled! Although we still do not have plans on starting treatment until at least January, I will at least get updated information and will feel prepared and ready to go. I'm looking forward to meeting with my doctor again and talking with him about the past year. Although I have a plan in my mind, I want to talk with him about what he suggests for us to do. I will update after my appointment, of course. I also sent in my request page for my doctor's office records. I really wanted to bring all the records with me to the appointment so I'm hoping that I will have all of that in hand when I arrive for my appointment. I would like to be able to bring the ultrasound records, the blood draw records, and any notes my OB made. I think it will help the fertility specialist to see what's been going on for the past year.

 

In other news, I joined the Younique team today! I am so excited to be apart of this amazing company. I am obsessed with their makeup and look forward to making fun videos for you. If you are interested in getting this amazing makeup, visit www.youniqueproducts.com/MeganRRichards. Check out my post here, I briefly talk about the makeup and I show a before and after photo.

 

God Bless

 

FUTURE OF TTC {10.13.2015}

It irks me to write this, but I needed to update on my current TTC situation. Well, round 4, the "final round", as we are so lovingly referring to it, was a total bust! Disappointed. Frustrated. Hurt. Puzzled. Confused. Nervous. I could list about fifteen more words to describe how we feel, but I think you get the point. I hate being negative, no, I loathe it! Negativity is such a waste of time and emotion, but sometimes, in life, you just have to face the facts and realize that not every day is going to be happy and wonderful. Sometimes bad news will happen. Your bad news may not be the same as my bad news and I'm sure some will probably say that my bad news, isn't that bad. I guess in the big scheme of things, it's really not. I have a wonderful husband. I have two beautiful and totally amazing fur-babies. I have a nice car. I have a wonderful apartment. Life is good. Infertility, on the other hand, sucks! If I've said it once, I've said it a million times...it sucks!!!

 

 The fact of the matter is, this is the second full year of Clomid and my doctor basically told me "enough is enough!" My options are limited. Clomid, unassisted, aka with my OBGYN, is not an option anymore. He is now referring me out to a fertility specialist. Oh boy! What joy! More money down the drain for something that has a fifty percent chance of working. Though, I'm not sure where this journey will take us, I never ever expected us to have to go to a fertility specialist. I could have sworn we would have gotten pregnant with a healthy baby no problem on Clomid. I will admit, though it really does sound like I'm being a Debbie-downer, and I guess in some ways, I am, but I really am happy, or at least a small percentage of me is happy, that I will finally have a fertility specialist who will monitor everything! I guess, my only complaint, is the cost factor. I mean...can we just take a second to recognize that fertility treatment is not affordable at all. There's the constant doctors visits, the ultrasounds, blood draws, medications, the procedure it's self. It's all expensive and we have to pay out of pocket for fertility expenses.

 

Alright, now that my rant is over, I can tell you what our plans are. Currently, we are trying to get an appointment with a fertility clinic. They are so impossible to reach with Texas being so big, the Drs. are always swamped. Luckily, the clinic of my choosing, is literally a block away from my house. Convenient! So, as for now, I will visit with my fertility specialist in November. Treatment will likely start after the holidays because, let's face it, no one wants to deal with fertility treatment during the happy holiday season. And, with the gifts we will be buying for family members, we will need the extra time to gather up all the money.  

 

This post is much longer than I expected it to be, and I am realizing that majority of it is going to sound like I am just miserable, but truth is, I'm really not. I'm blessed. Sure, this is a struggle. Every TTC sister knows that infertility is nothing but hills and valleys and sometimes you'll have your high moments, but there will also be lots of lows moments too. At the end of the day, I am reminded that I am blessed. I am reminded that God has made a promise and I know that He is a gracious and caring God who will answer our prayers. I'm looking forward to moving to a whole new doctor. I'm looking forward to being monitored, maybe we will finally get some answers, but even if we don't at least we will have someone who will guide us each step and reassure us. So, here's to another round, another day. In the words of Michael Buble (who wasn't the original singer but his is my favorite version), "it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, for me, and I'm feeling good!"

 

 

 

 

OPK | CYCLE DAY 16 : CLOMID YEAR 2 • ROUND 3 {09.25.2015}

 Technically, you will not see an OPK from CD 16 because I stopped testing after my positive OPK. Typically, when using the ClearBlue Digital, after a positive you are no longer able to test so I figured I would use the same "process" with the Answer tests. After today, I will only have one more day of BDing and then Sunday, CD 18, I will begin Progesterone as well as the Two Week Wait. Anyways, here is the last OPK and cycle update.

 

OPK | CYCLE DAY 16 : CLOMID YEAR 2 • ROUND 3 

 

*top to bottom* 

CD11 (11am) - negative, very faint

CD11 (6 pm)- negative, extremely faint

CD12 (11am)- negative, line is getting darker but is still faint

CD12 (6 pm) - negative, very faint

CD13 (11 am)- negative, getting darker but still faint

CD13 (6 pm)- negative, very faint
CD14 (11am) - negative, darker than CD 13 but faint

CD14 (9pm) - negative, very faint
CD15 (5am) - negative, waiting for the positive knowing that O is close
CD15 (10am) - positive, as dark as the control line
*ovulation took place on CD15; last OPK @ 10am*

*side by side comparison of morning OPKs*

In this photo you can see the progression to O. They were getting slightly darker but not nearly as dark as the morning of CD15 when I ovulated.
 

***********Cycle Update Below***********
 

Fertility Chart

This cycle I tried to pay attention to the signs my body was giving me in terms of my CM. The day my temperature dipped is also the day that I received a positive OPK so I know O took place between 11am on CD 14 and 10am on CD15. My temp will need to rise for two more days before the Fertility Friend app will recognize that CD 15 was O day.

Ovia Fertility Monitor

I think I've been on "12 days until pregnancy test" for about two days now. Every day, the Ovia app tries to update the information so I never know what it's doing but I do like that it gives you cycle information and uses your cycle data to give you notes about certain things that take place.

Sperm Meets Egg Plan

•{Pineapple Core}

Start on Cycle day 16

9/25
*start only after positive OPK*

•{Two Week Wait}

Cycle days 18 thru 30

9/27 thru 10/09

•{HPT}

Cycle days 30 thru 35

10/09 thru 10/14

•{Progesterone}

Start on Cycle day 18

9/27


 

OPK | CYCLE DAY 14 : CLOMID YEAR 2 • ROUND 3 {09.23.2015}

I am back for another glorious OPK update. To my surprise, things are progressing in the most amazing ways this cycle. This is the first cycle that I feel confident and surprised by my body. Clomid is usually harsh on my emotions and my body, but this cycle I am happy and I don't see the things happening the way they did in previous rounds. This is all great news and gives me hope that this may be our lucky round. This may be the cycle we finally get pregnant with our healthy rainbow baby. Take look at that progression and my Fertility Friend and Ovia cycle stats.

 

OPK | CYCLE DAY 14 : CLOMID YEAR 2 • ROUND 3 

 

*top to bottom* 

CD11 (11am) - negative, very faint

CD11 (6 pm)- negative, extremely faint

CD12 (11am)- negative, line is getting darker but is still faint

CD12 (6 pm) - negative, very faint

CD13 (11 am)- negative, getting darker but still faint

CD13 (6 pm)- negative, very faint

CD14 (11am) - negative, darker than CD 13 but faint
*ovulation will likely take place CD15*

 

*side by side comparison of morning OPKs*

This is a much better photo to better show the progression of this cycle to ovulation. You can see that each morning, at 11am, the first line is getting darker. Ovulation can only be determined once the first line is as dark as, or darker, than the second line. Unlike pregnancy tests, a faint line means negative. I have a feeling ovulation will take place on CD 15 from looking at the OPK progression.

 

***********Cycle Update Below***********
 

Fertility Chart

Note that the day I have a darker OPK, CD 14, I am also experiencing EWCM! Ovulation will likely take place within the next 24 to 48 hours. Temp is slightly higher this morning but still lower than the rest. Ovulation can only be confirmed once three higher temps follow a low dip.

 

Ovia Fertility Monitor

Originally, the app stated that my "fertility score" was only a 3.5 but after I took notice of the EWCM, the app updated. Ovulation will likely take place within the next 24 to 48 hours.

 

Sperm Meets Egg Plan

•{Clomid}

Cycle days 2 thru 6:

9/11, 9/12, 9/13, 9/14, 9/15

•{Baby Dance}

Cycle days 9 thru 17:

9/23, 9/24, 9/25, and 9/27

updated - days remaining

•{OPKs}

 Cycle days 11 thru 17:

9/20 thru 9/26

twice a day (1) @ 11am & (2) @ 6pm

•{Two Week Wait}

Cycle days 18 thru 30

9/27 thru 10/09

•{HPT}

Cycle days 30 thru 35

10/09 thru 10/14

•{Progesterone}

Start on Cycle day 18

9/27

 

OPK | CYCLE DAY 12 : CLOMID YEAR 2 • ROUND 3 {09.21.2015}

I'm thinking I may do updates on the OPKs every other day. So post on CD 12 to give an update on CD 11 and CD 12; post on CD 14 for an update on CD 13 and CD 14; post on CD 16 for an update on CD 15 and CD 16; last OPK post will be on CD 18 to give an update on CD 17. Does that make sense? If not, that's ok, just come back daily for updates and blog posts.

So E and I have bets going to see what day I will ovulate. I guessed CD 13 and E guessed CD 15. We will see who wins...winner gets a backrub!

OPK | CYCLE DAY 12 : CLOMID YEAR 2 • ROUND 3 

 *top test* 
CD11 (11am) - negative, very faint

*middle test* 

CD11 (6pm)- negative, extremely faint

*bottom test* 

CD12 (11am)- negative, line is getting darker but is still very faint

 

 

***********Cycle Update Below***********

Fertility Chart

 I am pleasantly surprised to see that my temps are between 97.2 - 97.7. Very unusual for them to be that kind of "normal." (Round of applause for Clomid for helping with this.)

Ovia Fertility Monitor

This app is frustrating at times because I never feel it's right. I know the app is not familiar with Clomid and how it works, so hopefully it will update accordingly when I get my positive OPK.

 

Sperm Meets Egg Plan
•{Clomid}
Cycle days 2 thru 6:
9/11, 9/12, 9/13, 9/14, 9/15

•{Baby Dance}
Cycle days 9 thru 17:
9/16, 9/18, 9/20, 9/22, 9/24, 9/26
updated

•{OPKs}
 Cycle days 11 thru 17:
9/20 thru 9/26
updated - twice a day (1) @ 11am & (2) @ 6pm

•{Two Week Wait}
Cycle days 18 thru 30
9/27 thru 10/09

•{HPT}
Cycle days 30 thru 35
10/09 thru 10/14

•{Progesterone}
Start on Cycle day 18
9/27

 

CLOMID YEAR 2 • ROUND 3 {09.16.2015}

Hold up! Is this post really about Clomid? But, I thought you were done trying? Well, after much debate, we decided it wasn't over. We returned home from our cruise and felt that it was time to give it another round. Since I want to keep you updated, especially since I have some TTC sisters following, I decided to do another Clomid update. This cycle, AF started on her own, for the first time in a long time, I didn't need Provera! AF started on my 23rd birthday, September 9, (yay me!). Luckily, the day before, I placed an order for Clomid to be refilled. Everything was perfect timing. I literally picked up my medication on September 10, just in time for me to start taking it on September 11. This cycle, I promised myself that I wouldn't get crazy, I want to take it one day at a time while also preparing my body and doing everything I can to ensure this time we get a BFP with a healthy baby.

 

With our first pregnancy in July of 2013, I literally did nothing. We took the medication and basically didn't care about timing or temping. This is why, for almost 10 weeks, I had no idea that I was even pregnant. The most recent pregnancy, in January, was completely different. This time, we did everything! Vitamins, BBT charting, Acupuncture, OPKs, Pineapple core...you name it, we did it! Naturally, I decided that if we were going to spend the money on the medication, that we should make it count. So, this time around, we will be doing everything in our power to ensure that we not only get pregnant, but that this baby sticks and grows healthy and strong. With that, here are the results from Round 3 of Clomid.

Cycle Day: 1 (9/10)

Medication: Prenatals, CoQ10, B12, Fish Oil

Symptoms: Horrible headache in the evening

OPK or HPT: Neither

Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled 

Milestones: Clomid starts tomorrow

Cycle Day: 2 (9/11)
Medication: Prenatals, CoQ10, B12, Fish Oil and day 1 of 100mg Clomid
Symptoms: Backache, extremely tired (but that is due to crazy schedule)
OPK or HPT: Neither
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones: Remembered to take my BBT this morning

Cycle Day: 3 (9/12)
Medication: Prenatals, CoQ10, B12, Fish Oil and day 2 of 100mg Clomid
Symptoms: None, felt great!
OPK or HPT: Neither
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones: First acupuncture appointment for this cycle, I can already feel a difference in both my stress levels as well as AF symptoms; Also temporarily lost my BBT so I had to use a regular thermometer

Cycle Day: 4 (9/13)
Medication: Prenatals, CoQ10, B12, Fish Oil and day 3 of 100mg Clomid
Symptoms: A little cramping but not horrible
OPK or HPT: Not yet
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones:  Just feeling great, no crazy Clomid symptoms

Cycle Day: 5 (9/14)
Medication: Prenatals, CoQ10, B12, Fish Oil and day 4 of 100mg Clomid
Symptoms: Slight hot flashes at night time, woke up this morning feeling really sweaty; Temperature outside in Texas is amazing for mid-September, @ 65 degrees!!! Horrible headache that started around 5pm and did not go away until I fell asleep.
OPK or HPT: Not yet
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones: Tomorrow is the last day of Clomid and so far I haven't had any crazy symptoms, just simple hot flashes but I still get those even when we are taking a break from Clomid

Cycle Day: 6 (9/15)
Medication: Prenatals, CoQ10, B12, Fish Oil and day 5 of 100mg Clomid
Symptoms: Surprisingly, after my horrible headache last night, I have no symptoms; AF is extremely light today, I can tell she will be gone by the time I get home tonight
OPK or HPT: Not yet
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones: LAST DAY OF CLOMID!

Cycle Day: 7 (9/16)
Medication: Prenatals, CoQ10, B12, Fish Oil
Symptoms: None! I feel great!
OPK or HPT: Not yet
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones: I managed to make it through another round of Clomid without any problems. Usually Clomid makes you crazy, but I think I'm used to it by now so I'm immune to the effects. OPKs start tomorrow (Cycle Day 8); Just like previous times, I am taking them (3) times a day at 8a, 2p, and 6p, this gives me a wide range to work with daily and see the full possibility of ovulation

*side note: I will be taking Progesterone after ovulation*

***********************************************************
Fertility Chart (current from Cycle Day 7)

 

 Ovia Fertility Monitor (current from Cycle Day 7)

Sperm Meets Egg Plan

•{Clomid}
Cycle days 2 thru 6:
9/11, 9/12, 9/13, 9/14, 9/15

•{Baby Dance}
Cycle days 8 thru 22:
9/17, 9/19, 9/21, 9/23, 9/25, 9/27, 9/29, 10/01

•{OPKs}
Cycle day 8 thru 23:
9/17 thru 10/02

•{Two Week Wait}
Cycle day 20 thru 30
9/29 thru 10/09

•{HPT}
Cycle day 30 thru 35
10/09 thru10/14

•{Progesterone}
Start on Cycle day 18
9/27

Get all the details about what we did to get pregnant in January below:

TTC Journey: Clomid Year 2 Round 1 & What We Did Different Year 2 Round 1 That Worked!

Also, be sure to read our pregnancy announcement, bumpdate, and miscarriage story.



 

*Praise God*

*4 Weeks & 4 Days*

*5 Weeks Bumpdate*

*Where Do We Go From Here*

 

WHAT YOU NEED TO CONCEIVE {07.15.2015}

Due to the fact that I have an overwhelmingly large number of readers who are in the TTC world, I wanted to put this up. Keep in mind that E and I are no longer in the TTC world, we have basically taken one huge leap away from that world for a while, but for my ladies that do read this blog, waiting for the TTC posts, here is one just for you.

 

It is crucial that you are taking the correct vitamins for you and your future embryo. Those little eggies need all the vitamins and supplemental boosts they can get. Here are 10 of vitamins you need to conceive!

 

#1 Zinc
#2 Folic Acid

#3 Coenzyme Q10 (CoQ10)

#4 Omega 3 Free Fatty Acid

#5 Iron

#6 Calcium

#7 Vitamin B6

#8 Vitamin B12

#9 Fish Oil

#10 Prenatal

 

Take this list to your nearest pharmacy and stock up ladies, you are going to want all you can get to make that healthy miracle baby.

 

I also wanted to share some other tips and tricks for conception.

 

Pinapple

Although I am not a doctor, I have heard some amazing things about pineapple. If you eat this magical fruit, mainly the core, after ovulation has been determined, you will have a better chance of implantation. You can thank Brolemain, an enzyme found in pineapples, for the help. How much do I believe this? Well, to be honest I'm not sure. I did eat pineapple core with our second pregnancy, in January, which was successful in landing a BFP but I'm not sure how much this factored in. Worth a try though!

 

Acupuncture

I'm sure you've heard me talk about this before, and with good reason. In addition to the pineapple back in January, I was also seeing an acupuncturist weekly throughout my cycle. Not just for fertility, but for relaxation, Acupuncture is so important for balancing systems throughout your body. During a TTC journey, it's easy to get caught up in the frustration and stress, Acupuncture allows us to breathe and calm our body and minds. After all, the most important thing you can do for your future pregnancy is ensure that you aren't stressed.

 

Weightloss

Now, don't hate me for saying this, but weight plays a very vital roll in fertility. If you are even five pounds over your "normal" body weight, your fertility will be negatively affected. Just like the round in January, I was doing all three of these things. I managed to lose about 30 pounds and, although it wasn't easy, we sure managed to get pregnant first cycle after a whole year break. I'm not saying that it's impossible to get pregnant if you are five pounds overweight, but the healthier you are, the better your chances.

 

SMEP Plan

Just go back and look at anyone of my posts from the last cycle in April or the one in January, and you will see that I am an avid believer in the SMEP Plan. I found this little gem searching the web and it has worked wonders for us. Again, we were successful while using this in January. This plan is crucial and can help you and hubby stay on track. Best part is, this plan keeps the man and woman accountable during the TTC journey. It's important that men build up their swimmers, so waiting at least one day for that to build up is so important. Another thing is, it helps remind us to pay attention to dates and timing so as to not miss our small window of opportunity. Find out more about the SMEP Plan here.

 

 

3 DAYS UNTIL THE END {05.08.2015}

As of today, I have three days until I start my progesterone. Tomorrow, I will start eating pineapple core and drinking my Bump Water! I will be taking Prometrium 200mg for twenty days which at the end of those twenty days I should know if I am pregnant. Basically, that means that starting Monday, May 11th, I will be in my Two Week Wait! I'll admit, I don't believe there are any TTC sisters that like the TWW. It just seems to drag on forever. I do however, like to take the opportunity to rest. You know how God spent six days creating the world and then on the seventh day He rested? Well, I know my TTC journey isn't nearly as large or important as God's creation of the world, but just as He rested after a long week of work, we use the TWW as our resting period. No stressing or worrying. It's in God's hands. We acknowledge the success that we had in sticking to our BDing "schedule" and do not dwell on the things we did not do or should have done differently.

 ~  

*Mini Q&A: Why are you eating Pineapple after ovulation? Pineapples contain an enzyme called Bromelain which is anti-inflammatory and has been known to increase cervical mucous and possibly the chance of implantation in early pregnancy. For directions on consuming pineapple for ovulation, see directions below*

I mentioned that I will be starting my BumpWater to which I'm sure some of you were wondering what in the world that meant. Well, go check out BumpWater! It's not a replacement for prenatal vitamins but instead an enhancer. Packed with tons of benefits and supplements. Not to mention, they are delicious! 12 bottles are just $28.99!!!

While I know that I have not blogged as much about this cycle as I did with my cycle in January, I have still been following the same "schedule"/"routine," so if you are a new TTC Sister and need a little help creating and following a plan that may be successful for you, then check out my TTC JOURNEY: CLOMID YEAR 2 ROUND 1 page. You can see how I tracked my cycle and other things I did to accomplish getting pregnant. For those interested in getting the full and detailed version of all the things we changed that worked for us, be sure to read WHAT WE DID DIFFERENT YEAR 2 ROUND 1 THAT WORKED!!!

Today is also my last OPK testing day and since I didn't do my daily OPK update, check out my progression of OPKs from beginning on CD to end, today, on CD 15. 

Now keep in mind, with the Advanced ClearBlue Digital OPKs, you should never refer to the lines to tell you if you are ovulating. The smiley faces on the ClearBlue will show you what you need to know. I have heard so many women say that they look at the test strips, and in thinking like the other tests, to see if the lines are the same. With ClearBlue its different. The test itself measures both LH surge as well as Estrogen, so when it gives you a blinky smiley face, you better be BDing because you are at High Fertility. When you get the steady smiley face, you definitely want to BD because you are in Peak Fertility. Once you get a Peak Fertility on the ClearBlue Advanced, there is no need to continue testing as it will display the Peak smiley face for 48 hours. After which point your ovulation will have ended. Be sure that you are BDing according to the SMEP: BD day of positive OPK, the next day, then skip one day and BD one more time, to ensure the best possibility of catching that little eggie.

As I mentioned, I am on CD 15. I awoke to a dropped temp but with my FMU I was still only receiving a blinking smiley face (High Fertility) it wasn't until second morning urine around 9:30am that I successfully received my steady face (Peak Fertility). What better day than on our 5 year (dating) anniversary? Yes, we still celebrate the date E asked me to be his girlfriend and we also celebrate our engagement anniversary. Another thing that surprised me about this cycle was that it was on time. Ovulation according to my Clomid calculator pin-pointed this date, my Ovia fertility app said this was my day, and my body sent me signals like cramping, achy boobs, and bloating. Let's just hope this means we will finally get pregnant with our Healthy Rainbow Baby!!!

This will more than likely be one of the last posts about my cycle. Since I will be starting my TWW, there won't be much to blog about as far as my cycle is concerned. I will however, let you know if there are any symptoms from the Progesterone, so for those interested in that, be sure to stick around!

 

By the way...

 

 

Baby Dust, God Bless, and Best Wishes!

 

**Directions for Pineapple Core after Ovulation: 1) Use a knife to remove the pineapple exterior 2) Cut through the middle of the pineapple from top to bottom leaving halves to work with 3) From each half, slice six to eight equally sized wedges and 4) After confirmed ovulation, begin consuming one to two slices of pineapple each day.**

 

 

SPEAK UP {05.07.2015}

I am not normally the type of person to "vent" or complain about things. I usually always try to see the bright side of everything, but recently, there has been something weighing on my mind. For my fellow TTC sisters, you know first hand how frustrating it can be when you know you were made to do something so simple as have sex, and get pregnant, and can't do it on your own! It's not only frustrating, it's degrading. It {infertility} goes against everything we were taught in our younger years. I still remember clear as day all my High School teachers talking and preaching about how easy it is to get pregnant. Well, that's not true for everyone. Not for E and I, or the other 1 out of 8 couples out there.

Back to that thing on my mind...recently I was talking with a friend about my 3 years long TTC journey. And as we were talking, she reminded me how she "briefly" struggled. Now, please don't take this the wrong way. But if you only "struggled" for less than a year to get pregnant, then that wasn't really much of a struggle was it? Sure, you probably had some frustration and heartache in there, but less than 1 year verses the likes of couples such as E and I who have had this battle on-going for 3+ years...So, she reminded me about her "brief" months of TTC and how she was so upset and angry. She talked about how she tried X, Y, and Z things and nothing worked until she finally just "gave up." Then BOOM! She was pregnant!

Well here's the thing...let me just let you in on an extremely short version of my TTC journey with E.

For the first year of TTC we had no idea why we couldn't get pregnant but assumed it was due to no ovulation or PCOS. To our surprise, I had no PCOS but was right on the money with the no ovulation part. The Dr put me on Provera to start my period (since I barely ever had one), then drugged me with Clomid and this continued for 5 rounds. We got pregnant after the second round of 100mg Clomid but lost the baby at 10 weeks. Then, we got pregnant again after the four round of 100mg Clomid but lost that baby at 6 weeks. Now, I am facing Provera, Clomid, Progesterone, countless ultrasounds and blood draws, and yet all my tests keep coming back perfectly fine! Guess you could call it "Unexplained Infertility." Well, you can imagine the frustration when people (not just friends and family) say things like: "just relax, it will happen" "oh don't worry, I struggled for a few months too and it happened pretty fast" ect., ect., ect.

I would never wish infertility on anyone, but sometimes it can be so annoying when people don't realize that it just isn't like that for some people. E and I have tried the "relax it will happen" all of 2014 and guess what? I didn't have but maybe 2 cycles with 0 ovulation and surprise, surprise- I did not get pregnant! Sure 1 year maybe isn't enough for the time period people would like to hear but either way we tried it and nothing happened. We can't just sit around waiting for cycles that never happen, trying to get pregnant on cycles where I don't ovulate because I didn't take medication.

Maybe that's the most frustrating part. E and I really have no option but to use medication. We have both been tested and are absolutely fine. No major problems other than Dr's have no idea why we can't get pregnant on our own or keep the baby. At the end of the day, I just want people around the world to realize that infertility is a battle, a struggle, an on-going, endless circle of aggravation, sadness, and pain. It's not fun. No one wakes up and thinks, "I'd LOVE to be able to struggle through infertility for a few years, waste a whole lot of money, and get absolutely nothing out of it but maybe a few miscarriages and heartaches." Most of us TTC ladies wake up thinking, "My only dream and prayer is to be able to carry one, healthy baby to full term." Crazy huh? Half of the TTC community would celebrate every single day of the rest of our lives if we could just get one little baby and yet, there are people out there with two or more just waiting to find ways to get rid of them or complain about how hard it is and how "you should just wait" or "come babysit then you wont want children."

I guess this venting session was really just a way for me to get out all my thoughts. Maybe people need to see the heartache because even though I may seem happy all the time, I can promise you that my heartbreaks just the same as everyone else's. And that goes for the TTC community as a whole. Even the few that get pregnant in less than a year, I know their hearts break too from the sight of those negative pregnancy tests, bad news Dr's appointments, and degrading comments from passers standing by.

Let me just leave on at least a few good notes. 1) I have faith. I have faith that the Lord, my Savior, my God will keep His word for me to go forth, be fruitful, and multiply. 2) I have learned how to be grateful in the good times, and faithful in the bad times. 3) No matter what, keep going! I always remind myself that a dream or goal is worth the wait and the hard work. 4) Sometimes things don't go your way. Too many times TTC sisters turn their backs from God because they can't understand why we aren't getting what we want, when the truth is, God isn't giving us what we want because He has already planned what we need to fulfill our lives. And Lastly, 5) always find hope and grace in the journey. There are so many negative things to be said and thought about infertility, but bottom line is, the journey makes that healthy miracle baby all worth it. And, if you're lucky, will blossom a whole new relationship with your significant other.

God Bless, Baby Dust, and Well Wishes to my TTC Sisters

ANNIVERSARY GIFTS & EXCITEMENT {05.01.2015}

We have 11 days until our anniversary! Hard to believe. It definitely does not feel like it has been 3 years. I still find myself falling in love with Erik every single day. I still recall what it was like to start dating him and how we just knew, almost instantly, that we were determined to make this last. One thing that I always promised E was that no matter where our TTC journey or life took us, I wanted to make every day a good one. That's not to say that we don't have the bad/hard days, but I try to find fun things for us to do in our free time. We work so hard for the things we have and E does so much to remain calm and cool during the TTC months. It's so easy to get flustered or frustrated, angry, miserable, and disappointed during the TTC journey and we've had our fair share of those days which made me realize, even more, the importance of having fun with your spouse/significant other.

With that, E and I have been discussing "gifts" for our anniversary. We never get each other gifts for anniversaries and are usually content with just dinner and a movie. But, this year marks 3 years and since 3 is a lucky number for E and I (or so we hope), we decided to just splurge a little.

I was really excited about E's gift...a GoPro!!! He had been asking and talking about GoPros for a while but I just didn't see the need until we started talking about trips we've taken and how many videos were lost from those trips. We even mentioned the trips we plan to take and how we would love to have that footage for years to come. We also talked about doing daily Vlogs on YouTube because we regret not Vlogging our TTC journey or just life in general. There's a long list of reasons, I'm sure, why E wanted a GoPro, which is why I got him one. He was really surprised when I told him I bought one and we were equally as excited when it arrived at our front door. Here it is, mounted and ready for vlogging!

E got me two really amazing things, first thing he got me is a KitchenAid Mixer attachment to make our own sausage. I have been wanting to get this attachment for a while and I'm really excited to use it. Second thing E got me is bigger and more sentimental, to us a least. He got me tickets to the Sweeney Todd play!!! I am sooo excited because our very first date was to Sweeny Todd, our senior year when we weren't even boyfriend and girlfriend yet, we were just "old friends catching up." Of course it was the High School version but still it was fun and that date led to a prom-posal and we know how the rest goes. I must admit that I couldn't believe the odds that of all the years, this would be the year (lucky # 3) that the Wortham Theater Center in Houston would be putting on one of my most favorite plays/movie.

Aside from the gifts and the play, we will also be enjoying a really fun, day-time activity. We are going to a 5-tier ropes course and Zip-Line! I have never ever been zip-lining so this will definitely be interesting. Either way, I think this will be a really fun and eventful anniversary! Oh, and of course E is already talking about bringing the GoPro for the ZipLine footage.

CLOMID YEAR 2 • ROUND 2 {04.30.2015}

Cycle Day: 1 (4/24)

Medication: Prenatals

Symptoms: None, I feel great! I was actually so excited to see AF!!!

OPK or HPT: Neither

Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled 

Milestones: Clomid starts tomorrow

Cycle Day: 2 (4/25)
Medication: Prenatals and day 1 of 100mg Clomid
Symptoms: Feeling pretty good today, no hot flashes or mood swings
OPK or HPT: Neither
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones: Clomid Day 1 has begun and went down this morning with a prenatal

Cycle Day: 3 (4/26)
Medication: Prenatals and day 2 of 100mg Clomid
Symptoms: Very sleepy, a little moody, cramping
OPK or HPT: Not yet
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones: Temps have been pretty regular, not sure if basal body thermometer is right or not

Cycle Day: 4 (4/27)
Medication: Prenatals and day 3 of 100mg Clomid
Symptoms: Still pretty tired even after an early bedtime, hot flashes here and there
OPK or HPT: Not yet
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones: Managed to get in workouts everyday including this morning at 3am - no AF is going to hold me back

Cycle Day: 5 (4/28)
Medication: Prenatals and day 4 of 100mg Clomid
Symptoms: Hot flashes are starting to flare up but it's not unbearable
OPK or HPT: Not yet
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones: Did another workout this morning even though every part of me wanted to stay in bed and deal with these cramps but we are in week 8 of our 12 week workout program so I can't give in yet

Cycle Day: 6 (4/29)
Medication: Prenatals and day 5 of 100mg Clomid
Symptoms: None! I feel really good, very happy and ready to kick off this journey
OPK or HPT: Not yet
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones: LAST DAY OF CLOMID! Fingers Crossed we can catch that eggie

Cycle Day: 7 (4/30)
Medication: Prenatals
Symptoms: None - hooray!
OPK or HPT: Not yet
Next Dr. Appt.: Not scheduled
Milestones: OPKs start tomorrow (Cycle Day 8); I will be taking them (3) times a day at 8a, 2p, and 6p, this gives me a wide range to work with daily and see the full possibility of ovulation

*side note: you'll see below that my temps have been surprisingly level*

Also, I will finally be taking Progesterone after ovulation! I have been hearing so many good things about this drug and how it works wonders to help prevent miscarriage. Of course, there is no telling why our first two miscarriages ended, but I can only hope that it was due to low Progesterone and that this will help.

***********************************************************
Fertility Chart (current from Cycle Day 7)

Ovia Fertility Monitor (current from Cycle Day 7)

Sperm Meets Egg Plan

•{Clomid}
Cycle days 2 thru 6:
4/25, 4/26, 4/27, 4/28, 4/29

•{Baby Dance}
Cycle days 8 thru 22:
5/1, 5/3, 5/5, 5/7, 5/9, 5/11, 5/13, 5/15

•{OPKs}
Cycle day 8 thru 23:
5/1 thru 5/16

•{Two Week Wait}
Cycle day 20 thru 30
5/13 thru 5/23

•{HPT}
Cycle day 30 thru 35
5/23 thru 5/28

•{Progesterone}
After Ovulation

 

A HASTY UPDATE {04.23.2015}

Not much going on quite yet. I will admit that I was expecting AF to arrive today, but she didn't, I am patiently waiting. In other news, last night E and I watched Big Hero 6 and it was such a cute movie. I would definitely suggest it to others. Although there were a few moments where I thought it was a little too dark for younger kids, but still a really great movie.

Also, I completely forgot to update you on the results from my blood draw. According to my doctor, everything is perfectly normal. I am very thankful that God blessed E and I and even though we have to wonder our unexplained infertility, it's at least nice to know that there are no major factors weighing against us. I am grateful because now being considered "high risk" means that as soon as I get pregnant, the doctor will do blood work and ultrasounds to make sure that the levels are good for a growing baby.

I wanted to leave you with a few quotes, these are so encouraging and sometimes we need a little encouragement, especially my fellow TTC sisters during this Infertility Awareness Week.

 

 

God Bless and Baby Dust



PRAISE GOD {04.20.2015}

Quick re-cap of our weekend:

I wanted to talk about my weekend because it has been such a glorious weekend. Friday night was amazing! The hubs and I rented quite a few movies from RedBox and enjoyed a delicious "cheat meal" from a new place called BullChicks. It was actually very good although, if you want wings, I suggest going to WingStop instead. Saturday, we were able to sleep in until about 11am! That was absolutely incredible! After we finally got out of bed, we headed to the gym. I was able to do a full 30 minutes on the stair master! I was shocked and excited that I managed to make it. When we finished our workouts, we decided to run to H.E.B. and Costco to complete our "meal prep" shopping a day early to eliminate the stress on Sunday. Only problem, I had an appointment at the Apple store at 5:20pm and we were really pushing the time limit. To be honest, I don't how we made it on time, but we did! I've been having some issued with my phone and Apple, being as incredible and absolutely amazing as they are, completely gave a me a free/new iPhone. Sunday started with a beautiful service at our church, followed by a hardcore workout. We then had to come home and do our "meal prepping", house cleaning, laundry, and even had some time to watch a few TV shows and read our nightly Bible assignment. Reading this over, I feel like it really doesn't even begin to show the true hype of our weekend, but it was crazy busy!

Looking forward to this week:

This is E's last week of school! He is almost done with year 2 of his program and will be moving on to Year 3 for the Fall. I'm so proud of him because Lord knows that it puts a lot of stress and added exhaustion for him, twice a week! I'm also looking forward to my cycle starting. I think I've only said this once before, but I really am looking forward to my cycle. I want to enjoy this because I really don't know when we will have another "TTC" cycle.

Anything else:

Our 3 year anniversary is coming up in about 20 days! Seems unreal that 3 years of marriage have passed, and 5 years of relationship bliss. I'm also looking forward to getting the dogs to the groomers, summer is coming and it is the worst time for them because it's so hot and they get stinky fast! Fur-baby moms will understand this.

Best news of the week:

All my tests including my ultrasounds and blood work have come back perfect! The doctor said that my ovaries look great, tubes are perfect, and uterus is just as it should be even for having a miscarriage last month. My blood work which including Thyroid testing, Lupus panel, and some other weird panel, all came back wonderful! So it really seems like this cycle may be fairly easy. I'm just thankful to the Lord that everything between E and I looks great and now that I am going to be considered "High Risk," this will require constant testing, blood work, and ultrasounds to make sure that baby is ok. It's so refreshing to have my doctor be on the same page as me with how important it is to me that our baby grow healthy and strong.

I leave you with this...

"Be grateful in the good times, and faithful in the bad times - God is in total control!"

God Bless and Baby Dust

WHAT WE DID DIFFERENT YEAR 2 ROUND 1 THAT WORKED!!! {04.15.2015}

I wanted to share our "changes" that took place last cycle and helped us get pregnant so quickly. Let me just say that I have absolutely no idea which of these helped boost our chances, but I can tell you that God was the main source, the rest of the things were just a little "assistance," or so I like to say. It's so important to both E and I, to acknowledge God plays and played a HUGE part in our fertility journey. Do I think God wanted or planned for us to have miscarriages? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I believe God wants us to do as we are told, "go forth, be fruitful, and multiple," and that is why He continues to bless us with babies. So, without further ado, here is our TTC year 2 round 1 list of things we did to succeed.

1. I tracked everything!!! I'm so serious y'all. I tracked my temperature on two different fertility apps.
• a) Fertility Friend
• b) Ovia Fertility
2. I took daily OPKs starting on CD 8. I did use off-brand OPKs because I couldn't find the ClearBlue Digital sticks.
3. I attended weekly acupuncture appointments. I attended one appointment before starting Provera, one after Provera ended while still taking Clomid, one after Clomid ended near Ovulation, and one final appointment after Ovulation was registered.
4. I took prenatal vitamins. I have heard countless times that prenatal vitamins are sooo important, but I never really thought about it until after our first miscarriage in 2013. After taking the break during all of 2014, I decided that I would start taking prenatal vitamins at the start of my cycles. So for my year 2 round 2, I have decided to start taking those pills two days before the start of Provera (vitamins started on Monday, April 13).
5. Clomid was moved from CDs 3-7 to CDs 2-6. I don't really think this made a HUGE difference since I did get pregnant the first time taking Clomid on CDs 3-7. I will admit that I appreciate the change, I just seem to like the CD 2-6 better.
6. Pre-seed was used every time we BD. I've talked about it before, but pre-seed is amazing! Mostly because it is the ONLY sperm-friendly lubricant that I would trust.
7. I tracked my CM daily. Sure, it may not be the most amazing thing in the world, but I learned so much about my cycle just by paying attention to my body's signals.
8. We followed the SMEP, with a few adjustments to work with our schedules. Click to see the full SMEP!
9. Last but not least, I lost weight!!! I believe this was a real help in our TTC journey. I lost close to 30lbs at the start of the year and at my appointment on January 5, my doctor said that he was impressed and just knew that getting pregnant would be easier now...he was right!!! We got pregnant immediately! Obviously, I know this is not easy for everyone, but even just a weight adjustment of 5-10lbs can drastically increase chances of pregnancy.

My goal for this upcoming cycle is to follow the same pattern. I do want to try to eat Chia Seeds regularly throughout this upcoming cycle so that my body is healthy and for all of the health benefits. Click to read all about the health benefits of Chia Seeds. I have faith that we will have no problem getting pregnant this cycle, and with my doctor now considering us "high risk," I believe we will have a much better chance at keeping the next baby.

As always, thank you so much for reading and keeping up with our journey.

God Bless and Baby Dust!!!

UPCOMING TTC NEWS {03.31.2015}

Before April arrives, I wanted to post quickly about our current TTC journey. No, we are not completely done. Yes, we do have plans on continuing to try. I am torn! Part of me wants to keep the blog updated on our TTC journey but there is an overwhelming part that says to keep it to ourselves. I want to celebrate each one of my precious miracles, no matter how long they will stay with us but it's devastating to get all the sweet and loving "congratulations" only to find out days later that we lost our baby. We are thankful for all the love and support we receive but sometimes I feel like it would be better if we kept it to ourselves. It's a fine line to walk...

What's coming up? Well, currently I have an OBGYN appointment scheduled for April 8 at 9:20am. Apparently, my OBGYN thinks that it is finally time to listen to me. From what I understand, I will be doing countless bloodwork and ultrasounds followed by Provera to start the period, Clomid, and we will finally be able to take Progesterone, FINALLY ! Of course I will be taking my daily temps, taking daily prenatal pills, and daily OPKs. One thing that I want to do is only do a blood test to find out if we're pregnant. Last time we got pregnant, I told myself that I would not take HPTs, but I gave in and I wish I would have just scheduled the bloodwork instead, maybe then the Doctor would have seen my low HCG levels.

I will admit that we are doing our best to keep a positive outlook, keep God close to our hearts and prayers, and remind ourselves that we are lucky to be parents of two Angel Babies. So, that's all I've got today and I appreciate your support throughout our journey. As always, I will try to update after the appointment to give all the details of our next cycle and what we will need to expect.

Much Love and Many Blessings to You!