WINNING INFERTILITY

This post has been weighing heavily on me. As I sit to write this down, I write it not just for me, but for you because if you're reading this you're either 1) intrigued about our infertility journey and success or 2) you're in the thick of infertility yourself and are either looking for to share your frustrations with or are looking for some guidance or hope. PS: this is another long post.

MIRACLES AFTER 1382 DAYS | THE STORY {12.28.2015}

Well, I guess it's time to sit down and write this blog about our little miracles. To get the full story on this whole four year journey, visit my History of TTC page.

Let me just say, these twin babies are absolute miracles! If ever there was a couple who could praise and rave about the goodness and promises of God, it's us. Back in September, I took my last round of Clomid that resulted in no pregnancy. We were upset and saddened because after seven rounds of Clomid only two were successful but both ended in miscarriage in the first trimester. We decided to call it quits on Clomid and just move on. I still wanted to keep track of my cycles and see if I was ovulating on my own, so I continued to use Fertility Friend and OPKs. To my surprise, October and November were on time, for me, at just thirty-two days apart. Ovulation was detected for both cycles even with the absence of Clomid. We were shocked! For years, four to be exact, we were told we would never ovulate on our own...but God had a different plan. Between November 23 through 25, I managed to get three positive OPKs, while visiting in Florida with my grandparents. We didn't plan on it, but on the November 24 and 25, we baby danced. There was no legs in the air for ten minutes, no planning, no prepping, nothing! It was literally just as easy as it should be.

December 14 rolled around and according to previous cycles, my period was due to show on December 15. However, about a week prior to my period's due date, my breasts were very, very sore, to the point that E couldn't even hug me. I started telling him that I thought there was a chance we might be pregnant, but we would just laugh at the idea. On my way home on December 14, I told E that I was going to stop by CVS and grab a few pregnancy tests, fully with the mindset that I wouldn't take them until Wednesday morning. Though, when I got home, instinct told me to just take it, so I did. Low and behold, a line showed up, within a few seconds. It was faint, but it was there. I didn't know what to do with myself so I ran it over to E to look at it and asked him if he saw the line to confirm that I wasn't crazy. He looked at it, and nodded his head with complete shock.

That whole night, we were speechless. We didn't know what to think. All I could do was thank God for these miracle twins. The only thing we were able to agree on that night, was that we wanted to tell family and co-workers early. We were able to tell E's parents a week before our doctor's appointment, just in case they wanted to come, but we decided that Christmas Eve would be the perfect time to tell everyone else! Every year, on Christmas Eve, we go to E's parents house and everyone gets to open their matching pajamas, so I figured it would be fun to make an announcement when we had an ultrasound in hand. Ironically, Christmas Eve was also my first ultrasound (more on that later). That night, we headed over to E's parents house and let everyone open their pajamas first. Then we simply said "oh, we have something for Chrysta." She looked at us with a puzzled face and we told her it wasn't anything big then handed her two boxes. The first with just one onesie and then the second box which contained a second onesie with a note that read "We'll see you in August 2016 Aunt Chrysta. Love, the Twin Beanie Babies". Everyone was excited and, of course, amazed after we told them the story of how this was all God's work.

Christmas Day, was just as exciting! This time, we got to announce it to the rest of the family. It was such a wonderful opportunity to spread the news with everyone that loves us. For Christmas Day, we tried so hard to keep it a secret. The hope was that we would take a group photo and say something like "on the count of three say "Megan's Pregnant with Twins," but half way through the afternoon, E's mom requested that we tell everyone because she couldn't hold it in any longer. See the video at the end of the blogpost. Everyone was so excited and started smiling and laughing. We passed around the ultrasounds, it was absolutely wonderful. I couldn't have thought of a more perfect way to announce it!

 

Needless to say, this has been the best Christmas gift ever! We are eagerly looking forward to watching both of our little miracles grow. Estimated due date for our twins is August 2016. I will be doing weekly bump-dates, so stay tuned for that. Here is how we announced it to our social media sites:

Our Facebook cover photo

 Our "official" announcement

 The onesies and note to Aunt Chrysta

Our Twin Beanie Babies First Picture (Ultrasound at 5 weeks)

 

  

 

WEEKEND RECAP {10.12.2015}

Over the weekend we were busy but it was amazing! I always enjoy busy weekends, more opportunities to have a good time with my husband, and who doesn't want that? Friday night, was like any other Friday night, we just stayed home and relaxed after a long work week. I think we both fell asleep on the sofa around 8:45pm. It was amazing though I felt bad because the next morning, I awoke to a text message from the night before from our good friends inviting us out for a double date. We felt so bad for not receiving their text message until Saturday, but I'll admit that it was pretty awesome getting to bed early.

Saturday, October 10, we woke up, enjoyed breakfast, and headed out for Katy Rice Harvest Festival. This is an event that our city hosts every year. The very first time I attended, I was in fourth grade, we had just moved here from Louisiana and my dad entered me in the Katy Rice Harvest Pageant. I don't even think they do the pageants anymore... Since then, I try to make this a yearly activity for us because it's great to support local businesses and DIY home-makers. Most of the items are handmade but occasionally, you will see things like ItWorks, Scentsy, and many others. I ended up purchasing the Younique 3D Fiber Mascara. We walked around for a few hours before heading home to eat and get dressed for Fight Night. I'll admit, I could not wait to get ready and try out my new makeup. Just look at the difference! The left eye is after two coats of the Younique mascara. The right eye is after two coats of the L'Oreal Voluminous mascara.

After admiring my makeup, we left the house and headed for Sugar Land, TX for Fight Night, an absolutely amazing and inspiring event. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott were terrific and taught us so much. The idea of this event is to teach couples how to fight correctly. How to fight with each other but remember to respect and love each other. We actually won the tickets to this event. I applied online with KSBJ, a local radio station that plays all the greatest Christian hits. I was so surprised that we won and was thrilled to attend. Not that E and I argue that much, but sometimes, just like many other couples, when you fight sometimes you try to dig at the person instead of listening. I was able to open my heart to what Drs. Les and Leslie were saying and I was able to see clearly just how God wants us to "fight/argue/disagree" with our spouse without hurting them or breaking them down. If Drs. Les and Leslie are in your area, I highly suggest you get tickets for this event. It is life changing and eye opening in so many ways. Additionally, we were able to see Josh Wilson perform live! This man is amazing! His lyrics, his voice, his stage presence. You could feel, through his singing, that God was with us. He performed my favorite song, This is Now. I mean he sounds exactly the same live as he does on the radio. It was just a truly wonderful night. Very thankful to KSBJ for allowing us to attend this event for free.

 Sunday was a lazy day for us. Typically we attend church but we decided to consider Fight Night as our church service for the week, not to mention, we didn't get home and in bed until about midnight. We were exhausted! Most of the day was spent just lounging around but we did get a few things done. We managed to go to the grocery store and My Fit Foods. We also finished the laundry and watched two of our favorite shows. Oh, and we even got to read a chapter from Dr. Les' book, Crazy Good Sex.

Well that was our weekend recap. I hope you had a wonderful weekend, I just wish they would slow down, we wait five whole days for it to get here and then once the weekend is here, it flies by! Oh, and *side note* the Astros are doing amazing! Hoping we can pull out another win and maybe even win the whole thing.

 

iPhone Photo Dump • Weekend Addition

 Sugar Land Baptist Church

 E and I at Fight Night

 Josh Wilson performing; check out his drummers drum...it's a suitcase!

 Meeting Josh Wilson



Chief and Brooks being lazy on Sunday

INFERTILITY IS... {09.17.2015}

Infertility is...

Watching your husband playing with your friend's baby and
wishing you could give him one of his own.

Telling nurses to please take blood from your right arm because the veins in your left arm are all gone because of all the IVs you've had.

Avoiding people you haven't seen for a long time because you
don't want to hear the question, "Do you have any kids yet?".

Feeling very left out when your friends start comparing their
pregnancy or childbirth experiences.

Feeling like the whole town is pregnant except for you.

Getting tired of people always expecting you to do things
because "you don't have any kids to worry about".

Waking up in the middle of the night and wishing you could hear your baby crying.

Wishing you could give your parents grandchildren.

Wanting to fall apart if one other person says, "Why don't
you adopt?" Easy, right?

Sometimes avoiding friends who are pregnant or with newborns because you just can't handle the situation at that moment.

Every single time you babysit someone else's kid they go off about how you are getting "practice." I want my own child, I know how to change a diaper. Thanks.

Credits: How to Have a Baby: Overcoming Infertility

********************************************************************************

 

For all my TTC Sisters, I know the road is long and there's never a day we don't wonder or question "why me?" Sometimes God's greater plan is harder to see. Sometimes His plan is never on our time but He is always on time and always at the perfect time.

 

I think we forget that we are not in control. Even when you take medication, go through with IVF, use a surrogate, or adopt, nothing we do is in our hands. Everything is in His hands. I read an amazing blog post yesterday from Oh Baby, Baby's blog. She captured perfectly in one post how important it is to remember that each trial, and every tribulation we walk through has a greater purpose. Every time a cycle fails, a miscarriage takes place, or a baby is born still, it's completely up to Him. He knows what He is doing for us and we must be reminded everyday that His plan for us, which may take longer than we'd like, is always for the better.

*Read Oh Baby Baby's inspiring post here! *

 

With every road we walk, every step we take, we must know that God is right there beside us. Isn't it an wonderful feeling to know that someone loves us unconditionally? What an amazing Father we have.

 

SILENCE {08.11.2015}

Suicide is something that we, as a world, often forget to talk about. Sometimes those of us who have experienced this with someone we love, find it hard to reach out. Sometimes we forget that we aren't alone. And we even forget that our own friends or family members are not the only ones affected by this disease.

 

Sometimes I find it hard to talk about and other times, I can be as open as the books found in the library. But my father's suicide is still a "touchy" subject.

 

I still remember the day I found my father. It was my sixteenth birthday. I was coming home from cheer practice, eager to celebrate my birthday. I got home first before anyone else, and found my front door and garage locked. When I peered into my house, there he was. Panic set in. What do I do? Who do I call? How? Why? So many things ran through my mind at that time. In a moments notice, the only thing I could think to do was run around to the backyard and kick in the window. I still have the scars on my right ankle. I look at them often to remind me that I am stronger than this life. Today, is a hard day for some. Just this day, one year ago, Robin Williams took his life. It was a shock. The world could have heard a pin drop with the silence that filled when everyone found out the news. The idea that someone so funny, so loving, so amazing could take his life was unfathomable. That's how I felt. My father was the type of man who everyone loved. He was a natural comedian, in his own Cajun ways. He was a character.

 

He struggled with alcohol and drug abuse most of his life. Was he a good man throughout his whole life? To be honest, I don't know, but I can tell you he was an amazing and inspiring man. He became a single father at just 20 years old. He put himself through school and managed to raise me while also working three jobs. He had a goal and he made it happen. He was one of the few engineers who worked on some of the largest oil rigs out in the Gulf of Mexico. My father was incredible, to say the absolute least. For those who knew him, knew what a shock it was when he took his life, just as the world was shocked when Robin took his.

 

Everyone fights demons of their own. Regardless of your battle, we must all remember that we are all living this life together. No life is greater than another. It doesn't matter if you are poor or rich, black, white, or gray, we must all be reminded that life is not and should not be our enemy.

 

I wish I could go back. Well for a few reasons. One, I would love to hug my dad one last time, but two, I would love to tell him all the things I never said. I should have told him how amazing he was. I should have reminded him of all the blessings in his life. I should have showed him God. We could have walked in God's light as a family. There are so many things I should've or could've done, but the bottom line is, I will never get that chance. You have that chance. If you know someone that is struggling, help them. Remind your friends and family how important they are. If you are someone searching for a way out of this life, seek God. He will help you get through the darkest nights and lead you into the brightest days.

 

Not everyday will be easy. Not everyday of this life will we get to say "wow, what an awesome day." Not everyday will be the greatest, but we were only given one life. For those who are thinking about suicide, remember you are loved. Not just by your friends and family, but by Him, the Almighty God! He created you. He knows you. He knows your pain and your suffering and He wants you to come to Him. Seek Him in everything you do.

 

No matter where you are in your life, there will always be moments of weakness and heartbreak, but please never let this get you down. Please be honest with yourself, God, and then your friends and family. Be honest and know that this life will not always be easy. Maybe you were bullied or maybe you feel like things will never get better. I can tell you, they will!

 

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please encourage them to find help but also remind them they are loved and cared for in every single way possible. Please encourage them to seek the Lord and if they cannot find Him, for whatever reason, please be sure to encourage them to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1(800) 273-8255.

 

God bless and always remember to seek God in all that you do!

 

 

LET'S TALK LIFE {08.05.2015}

Can you believe we are in August? This is craziness! The years are flying by and sometimes I find myself coming to the realization that that means I am getting older. Sure, I'm not that old, but I'm also five years, almost six years out of High School. E and I sometimes find ourselves trying to remember our age. We both feel like we are still only 18. I definitely don't feel like we are nine months away from our fourth year of marriage. I don't feel like we've been together for almost six years.

 

I guess, time really does fly when you're having fun.

 

When E and I first moved in together, January 14, 2011: Huntsville, TX (I still remember that day like it was yesterday), we had literally $0.00 in our bank account. E had only lived with his roommates in college for one semester. We were just fresh, baby-faced 18 and 19 year olds trying to make it "work." We had to learn how to live together. I had never lived with anyone besides family so this was a huge change for me. The first year we lived together was, to put it in best terms, rough. Aside from not having money, E was in school and I was only able to find a part-time job paying $7.25 an hour. We were barely scraping by. We managed to get approved for government assistance which we only stayed on for about four months, this gave me time to move into the full time position at my job and E had left school to also get a job.

 

At the start of 2012, we were eagerly waiting to get married. By this point in time, we both had new jobs. E was working three jobs making about $250 a month and I was working for Keller Williams Bryan-College Station making about $8.50 an hour working full time. We managed to make it by but we still had our moments where our account was either overdrawn or just plain empty. May 12, 2012, I walked down the aisle, not really knowing where our life was headed. I think we both had our heads in the air. Neither of us knew the trials we would face together, but neither of us expected that even through those trials, we would come out stronger than ever! Immediately after our wedding and "honeymoon," E headed to Houston to live with his parents and start working in the Union. I stayed behind in Bryan, eagerly waiting to rejoin him. After a few months apart, many weekends back and forth traveling, we had finally saved enough money to move into our apartment in Cypress. This would be the start of our trials.

 

2013 proved to be one of the hardest years ever! In March, my grandmother (who was like my mother and practically raised me) passed away from Stage 5 Cancer. Four weeks later in April, my mother passed away in a total accident. Only 3 months after that, I lost my job, two days after that E's grandmother passed away suddenly in her sleep, and two months after that we miscarried our first baby. Somehow, we managed to come out of all of that darkness. We decided to move away from that apartment and find something new. A brand new start was what we needed.

 

In August 2013, we moved to Katy, where we met in fourth grade. We settled into a gorgeous apartment, I found a wonderful job, and E was just starting school for his Union Pipefitter job. 2014 was our turning point. I managed to find a new, even better job working for Capital One Bank as a Fraud Investigator, we were able to travel. We took a five-day cruise to Mexico, we enjoyed a full week in Las Vegas, and we even headed to Florida for a week during November. After returning from Florida, we decided to start our weight loss journey. I was about 200 pounds, and E was about 300 pounds.

 

By January 2015, we had both managed to drop about 10 pounds each. We endured another miscarriage, this one much earlier than the first. But we picked up the pieces and kept on. Today, we have managed to lose 35 pounds each, we are days away from another long vacation, we both have really amazing jobs, and I can officially say that we have made a wonderful life for ourselves. We came from $0.00 to being able to afford things and never have to ask for help with bills. We take trips and enjoy each others company by working out together daily. This gives us time to spend together and is my favorite thing, especially because we are both very competitive so we push each other to go further than we thought possible.

 

All this to say, I love our life. It's not always easy, but it's an interesting ride. I still find it hard to believe that just four years ago, we were in a completely different situation, living a completely opposite life. I don't think that when we lived in Huntsville, I could have envisioned us being where we are today in just four years. So where do we go from here? Well, Christmas is on the way, so there's that. But really, we go up. We climb the ladder and work hard. We are eagerly looking forward to being able to build our first home together. We are eagerly looking forward to all that life will throw our away.

 

Side note, it's hard to believe that I will be 23 in just a months time, and E will be 24 in two! That's just unbelievable.

 

Thank you for reading and letting me be "chatty".

 

May life and God bless you with happiness and even when you go through the dark, may you always find the door to lead you into the light.

 

God Bless

 

SPEAK UP {05.07.2015}

I am not normally the type of person to "vent" or complain about things. I usually always try to see the bright side of everything, but recently, there has been something weighing on my mind. For my fellow TTC sisters, you know first hand how frustrating it can be when you know you were made to do something so simple as have sex, and get pregnant, and can't do it on your own! It's not only frustrating, it's degrading. It {infertility} goes against everything we were taught in our younger years. I still remember clear as day all my High School teachers talking and preaching about how easy it is to get pregnant. Well, that's not true for everyone. Not for E and I, or the other 1 out of 8 couples out there.

Back to that thing on my mind...recently I was talking with a friend about my 3 years long TTC journey. And as we were talking, she reminded me how she "briefly" struggled. Now, please don't take this the wrong way. But if you only "struggled" for less than a year to get pregnant, then that wasn't really much of a struggle was it? Sure, you probably had some frustration and heartache in there, but less than 1 year verses the likes of couples such as E and I who have had this battle on-going for 3+ years...So, she reminded me about her "brief" months of TTC and how she was so upset and angry. She talked about how she tried X, Y, and Z things and nothing worked until she finally just "gave up." Then BOOM! She was pregnant!

Well here's the thing...let me just let you in on an extremely short version of my TTC journey with E.

For the first year of TTC we had no idea why we couldn't get pregnant but assumed it was due to no ovulation or PCOS. To our surprise, I had no PCOS but was right on the money with the no ovulation part. The Dr put me on Provera to start my period (since I barely ever had one), then drugged me with Clomid and this continued for 5 rounds. We got pregnant after the second round of 100mg Clomid but lost the baby at 10 weeks. Then, we got pregnant again after the four round of 100mg Clomid but lost that baby at 6 weeks. Now, I am facing Provera, Clomid, Progesterone, countless ultrasounds and blood draws, and yet all my tests keep coming back perfectly fine! Guess you could call it "Unexplained Infertility." Well, you can imagine the frustration when people (not just friends and family) say things like: "just relax, it will happen" "oh don't worry, I struggled for a few months too and it happened pretty fast" ect., ect., ect.

I would never wish infertility on anyone, but sometimes it can be so annoying when people don't realize that it just isn't like that for some people. E and I have tried the "relax it will happen" all of 2014 and guess what? I didn't have but maybe 2 cycles with 0 ovulation and surprise, surprise- I did not get pregnant! Sure 1 year maybe isn't enough for the time period people would like to hear but either way we tried it and nothing happened. We can't just sit around waiting for cycles that never happen, trying to get pregnant on cycles where I don't ovulate because I didn't take medication.

Maybe that's the most frustrating part. E and I really have no option but to use medication. We have both been tested and are absolutely fine. No major problems other than Dr's have no idea why we can't get pregnant on our own or keep the baby. At the end of the day, I just want people around the world to realize that infertility is a battle, a struggle, an on-going, endless circle of aggravation, sadness, and pain. It's not fun. No one wakes up and thinks, "I'd LOVE to be able to struggle through infertility for a few years, waste a whole lot of money, and get absolutely nothing out of it but maybe a few miscarriages and heartaches." Most of us TTC ladies wake up thinking, "My only dream and prayer is to be able to carry one, healthy baby to full term." Crazy huh? Half of the TTC community would celebrate every single day of the rest of our lives if we could just get one little baby and yet, there are people out there with two or more just waiting to find ways to get rid of them or complain about how hard it is and how "you should just wait" or "come babysit then you wont want children."

I guess this venting session was really just a way for me to get out all my thoughts. Maybe people need to see the heartache because even though I may seem happy all the time, I can promise you that my heartbreaks just the same as everyone else's. And that goes for the TTC community as a whole. Even the few that get pregnant in less than a year, I know their hearts break too from the sight of those negative pregnancy tests, bad news Dr's appointments, and degrading comments from passers standing by.

Let me just leave on at least a few good notes. 1) I have faith. I have faith that the Lord, my Savior, my God will keep His word for me to go forth, be fruitful, and multiply. 2) I have learned how to be grateful in the good times, and faithful in the bad times. 3) No matter what, keep going! I always remind myself that a dream or goal is worth the wait and the hard work. 4) Sometimes things don't go your way. Too many times TTC sisters turn their backs from God because they can't understand why we aren't getting what we want, when the truth is, God isn't giving us what we want because He has already planned what we need to fulfill our lives. And Lastly, 5) always find hope and grace in the journey. There are so many negative things to be said and thought about infertility, but bottom line is, the journey makes that healthy miracle baby all worth it. And, if you're lucky, will blossom a whole new relationship with your significant other.

God Bless, Baby Dust, and Well Wishes to my TTC Sisters

HOPE & FORGIVENESS | BIBLE STUDY PLAN {05.02.2015}

This week will actually be divided into two sections. The first study will be a 3-day study on Hope. Then, there will be a 4-day study on Forgiveness. Take a look at the plan below and don't forget to post a photo of how you bible study to Instagram using #FBBBible. 

Day 1 | Sunday, May 3 ~ Psalms 71:14 {Hope}

Day 2 | Monday, May 4 ~ Jeremiah 29:11 {Hope}

Day 3 | Tuesday, May 5 ~ Hebrews 6:11 {Hope}

Day 4 | Wednesday, May 6 ~ Proverbs 18:18{Forgiveness}

Day 5 | Thursday, May 7 ~ Matthew 6:14-15{Forgiveness}

Day 6 | Friday, May 8 ~ Luke 17:3-4{Forgiveness}

Day 7 | Saturday, May 9 ~ Hebrews 12:15 {Forgiveness}

 

See last week's bible study here:

 

http://faithbeautifullyblessed.blogspot.com/2015/04/what-is-love-gods-view-bible-study-plan.html

 

God Bless

 



WHAT IS LOVE | GOD'S VIEW BIBLE STUDY PLAN {04.25.2015}

Recently, Erik and I have been embarking on a new kind of adventure, one that involves our love for the Lord. I have had a few friends and family members ask me to help guide them through a plan that they may be able to follow with their loved one. E and I believe that the most important relationship, aside from a powerful one with God, is an equal strength with a significant other, husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend. The closer your relationship to your loved one, the closer you will both become with the Lord, and may even notice that you both begin to walk with Him throughout the struggles, happiness, and trials of your relationship. E and I have always stressed the importance of building our relationship with each other and keeping God in the center of it all.

So I want to challenge all the couples out there to take our weekly Bible Study Plan Challenge. Starting tomorrow (Sunday, April 26), grab your bibles, your significant others, and a few moments of alone time while you read or listen to the readings. If you use Instagram, use the hashtag: #FBBBible and snap a few photos of your bible study. Alright, here is the plan that you will follow throughout the week.

 

Day 1 | Sunday, April 26 ~ Leviticus 18:18

Day 2 | Monday, April 27 ~ John 14:15

Day 3 | Tuesday, April 28 ~ Deuteronomy 6:5

Day 4 | Wednesday, April 29 ~ Amos 5:15

Day 5 | Thursday, April 30 ~ Matthew 1:18-19

Day 6 | Friday, May 1 ~ Proverbs 17:17

Day 7 | Saturday, May 2 ~ Matthew 5:44

We will be making a page where you can visit the Bible Plans if you missed a week, so be on the lookout for that. We will provide you with the next week's plan on Saturday. Finally, we want to know what you want to read. Maybe about Infertility and God's promise, how about family, or even friendship? Let us know what plan you'd like to see, and we will create it for you!

If you do not own a bible, that is ok! Visit https://www.bible.com/ and create a login. You can also find the bible app on your iPhone or Tablet for use and it does include voice readings.

"Be grateful in the good times and Faithful in the bad times."

God Bless and Love Always

FINDING THE BEAUTY {04.22.2015}

This week, amongst many other things, has been very, what's the word, trying roller-coastery. Ok so that may not be a word, but that's how it has been. It started on Friday, it was nice and relaxing. Saturday was hectic and I lost it. I am not usually one who breaks down and cries. Matter of fact, I can count on one hand the amount of times that I have cried. I am not an emotional person but that doesn't mean things don't get to me. Recently, I have been holding in a lot.

Maybe some of you know, maybe you don't, but had it not been for my marriage to Erik, I would basically be an orphan. That sounds really bad, but it's true. My father passed away after committing suicide on my sixteenth birthday, September 9th 2008.  My grandmother (who was like a mother for me growing up) passed away on March 18th 2013 from stage 5 cancer, and my mother died just four weeks after her on April 27th 2013 by accidentally falling down her stairs at her house in Illinois. Not to mention, 2013 was just rough all around. Erik's grandmother passed away suddenly on August 28th 2013, and we suffered our miscarriage just a month later on September 26th 2013.

Ok, so back to me "holding in a lot." I guess this past weekend, driving through Katy where E and I live, but also the second city my father and I lived in along together, I started noticing that most of the places where my father and I would spend time together are gone. Most of them were food places because we would have dinner dates every week, just me and my single father. It was nice! But now I feel as if he is disappearing from my life. Really, I feel as if my mom, dad, and grandmother are just disappearing from my life. I hate that more than anything!

Sunday was beautifully busy with church and gym and meal prep, it was just glorious. But then Monday came. Oh Monday...E got into a car accident. Thankfully it was not horrible but there is damage to his truck that we will need to get fixed.

I just feel like this week is testing my patience.

But then, I remember the quote that the preacher said on Sunday during the service..."Be grateful in the good times, and faithful in the bad times." This really sunk in. It hit my heart hard. Too often I feel like it is so easy to turn away from God when things are tough. Obviously, E and I have dealt with our fair share of TTC drama, but sometimes you can feel like God just doesn't care or doesn't hear your prayers.

I used to feel this. After our first miscarriage, it was so hard to be faithful. It was so hard to see the good when so much bad had filled our lives.

I used to feel like that.

Now, I see the good in everything. I can take any day of the past week
through today, and can point out the beauty in the darkness.

Saturday, I saw the beauty of memories and how thankful I am that God gives us the opportunity to remember loved ones. How horrible would life be if we just suddenly forgot them after they left Earth. Sunday, I saw the beauty of a church and the movement and power of God's words. Monday, I saw the grace and promise in God keeping my husband safe during his accident because Lord knows that it could have been very different. Tuesday, I saw the blessing that E and I have received news that everything is perfect and healthy between the two of us for our upcoming TTC cycle. And today, even seeing the clouds roll in, I am reminded of the grace that God allows us to have rain and shine, because everyone wants the fun in the sun but occasionally we can enjoy a relaxing evening to the sounds of soft rain pouring down.

I feel like there is always a way to find the good in this world and too often people choose to see the bad. I can say that no matter where this life takes us, I will always have the desire to find the good, the beauty, and the happiness that God provides in each and everyday. And as I eagerly look forward to AF starting and getting this new TTC journey on a roll, I am again reminded of God's promise for us to "go forth, be fruitful, and multiply" and know that Thy will be done!

God Bless and Baby Dust

DECISIONS AND GOD {02.28.2015}

Majority of the time, I am happy. Occasionally, it hits me. I'm sure this is how most women who have struggled for years feel. The fact that we have now had to suffer through two miscarriages, only 16 months apart, still irks me. There are days I just want to sit and question everything that God does. Then there are the other days where all I want to do is follow the path He has given me. I know God wants us to have children, it's obvious from the fact that He has gotten us pregnant twice! But maybe, we are just rushing things. Maybe He knows that in our hearts, there are other things that intrigue us.

For example, before this cycle, I told E that if we did not get pregnant, I wanted to go back to school and I wanted us to travel more. The thought of going back to school weighed heavily on my heart as it is something that I have been very seriously thinking about. I knew that if I wanted to give my child the things he or she needs, I would need to start making choices now! Start planning now and get my degree.

E mentioned before the miscarriage this time, that he believed God created miscarriage to provide insight and opportunities. Does that mean we wanted a miscarriage to happen? NO! Does that mean we planned on having two miscarriages? NO! But what E meant is that every time we had a miscarriage (door closing), something better that we had been dreaming of happened (door opened).

Back in 2013, when we suffered our first miscarriage, we were devastated, just as any couple would be. We wanted that baby so badly but we had always talked about traveling, since we can't even being to tell you how many countless amounts of people told us "no, wait to have children, go see the world. go do things as husband and wife first." I will be the first to admit that E and I had no desire to listen to anything they said. But as 2014 rolled in and doors started opening, we were so fascinated that we decided to step into those doors and make way for God to run our lives. To our surprise, that trust led us to Cozumel and Progresso Mexico on a 5 day cruise (travel), a 5 day trip to Las Vegas, Nevada (doing things as husband and wife like gambling), and we even set out on a trip to visit my family in Florida for Thanksgiving. So needless to say, things in 2014 were good but don't think that having children didn't weigh on our minds then. The difference was that we were enjoying ourselves and we believed wholeheartedly that God knew we needed this time together.

This year, God is providing us again with the opportunity to follow our hearts and do things we know to be best before we have children.

With that being said, I have decided to go back to school. To pursue my education and earn my degree in Teaching. I have always wanted to be a teacher and now I can follow my heart. I start classes May of 2015 and I am eagerly looking forward to transferring to the University I was supposed to attend in 2010 (more on that later). We also already plans in motion to travel again this year. Right now we are looking at New York City, Universal Orlando/Disney World, and even another cruise. For now, I am patiently waiting for classes to being and feel very enthusiastic about earning my degree. Even more exciting is the fact that my brand new laptop for school is only days away from arriving!

This post is to inspire those who are struggling with infertility. It may be so easy to give up on God and loose faith in Him while you are struggling but look deeper. He more than likely already has greater plans for you. He knows what is best in your life and will give you just what you need when you need it. It may be hard to stomach the idea of "moving on" from your TTC journey (trust me it was hard for us to imagine after 3 years just stopping and pursuing other things in life) but maybe, just maybe if you let go and let God, you will find more doors have opened and the doors will lead you to the things you deeply desire. Although, I will continue to pray for each of my TTC sisters, I pray that you find happiness in everyday things, that God blesses you with an angel of your own, and that you let Him in and let Him unfold the life-map He had planned before you were born.

God Bless and Well Wishes

MY GODLY AND HEALTHY OBSESSION {01.29.2015}

There are very few things that I am obsessed with, but with that being said, my favorite obsession is 19 Kids and Counting. They are so Godly, so loving, so faithful, so caring and literally all the good things in the world. They make my heart melt. Partially because of their love for their children but also because everything they do and teach and preach, is God. It amazes me that we have people in the world who cannot care for one infant but they have 19 beautiful children and can love, provide, nurture, and care for them all!!! Another reason I love them, is that when I have kids, I want my kids to be raised through Gods word and love. I want them to know how much they were prayed for and are continued to be prayed for. I want my children to feel Gods love for them as much as we love them and more. God has such a way of loving us and providing for us if we let Him. 

With that being said, I did want to do a little update. Currently I am in my TWW!!! My temps have risen for two days so far and *fingers crossed* tomorrow will make three which means I successfully ovulated on time! So for now, while we wait for Test Day to arrive, I will resume my normal daily blogging and will no longer be doing cycle updates unless something crazy happens, then I will return and update you immediately!

That's all I've got for today but I wanted to share a picture of me and some precious 6week old puppies that came into the clinic the other day...

It's ok to cry out loud and say that you need them, I did too!! Oh, and P.S., ignore the fact that I look exhausted, it was a busy day.

Have a fabulous night and I'll catch up with you tomorrow!

God Bless!!!

2014: END OF YEAR RECAP {12.31.2014}

So, we've reached the last day of 2014, but before the fireworks go off, champagne glasses clink together in victory, and we ring in the mid-night hour of January 1, 2015, I need to recap what was one of the best years thus far for E and I. We are counting down the hours to 2015 with you but first, here are 5 moments to remember from 2014:

1. Funniest moment: U2 gives away free CD on iTunes and the world throws a fit. For some reason this just made us LOL! First of all, I can totally appreciate a band giving away something for free but I think it would have been better to just announce that it was free and let people go grab it, then to automatically download it to people's iTunes accounts. I mean, you know everyone doesn't listen to the same kind of music. On the flip-side, it was pretty funny seeing everyone's outrageous reactions. 
2. Scariest moment: Recently, everyone has been concerned about the threats from North Korea in regards to the newly released movie by Seth Rogen; The Interview. I must admit that for awhile I was a little worried that we might actually get bombed. However, E and I agree that a movie should not be grounds for destroying a country. After all, not everyone in this country wants to see that movie, so just to threaten someone for something they have nothing to do with is pretty scary. 
3. Sweetest moment: More like the longest and sweetest moment...the ALS Ice Bucket challenge. Although E nor I partook in this movement, it was still so amazing to see millions of people taking this challenge. It was for a good cause and we both agree that more challenges should happen for many of the other causes in the world. We agree that there should definitely be a challenge for Infertility! I mean, HELLO, its about time the world realizes that Infertility is a disease. We digress...it was pretty great to see more of the world becoming involved. There are so many people in the world facing so many diseases and if we could all recognize just how many diseases there are, maybe we could raise more money for those diseases? Either way, we commend the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge for opening eyes and raising money.
4. Silliest moment: Remember The Oscars? We sure do! I mean it is mostly known for being a glamorous evening, but let us not forget the totally adorable Oscar Selfie!!! Need a refresh? Here it is... Seriously? Aside from Dax Sheperd and Kristen Bell welcoming baby number 2, this is the cutest thing ever! I'm peanut butter and jelly! Looks like this needs to be framed and placed in all of their houses ASAP!
5. Most Annoying moment: Again not so much a single moment, but definitely earned a spot on our "5 moments to remember from 2014" list; the word "bae." If that word doesn't immediately strike an "ughh" from your lips, I don't know what will. This overused, ridiculous word (not even really a word), was used by everyone and their mama. Don't know what it means? Here's the "definition" from Urban Dictionary: used by people on the internet as slang for baby, sweetie, boyfriend/girlfriend. Basically its annoying! E and I agree that this word just needs to be left in 2014 and laid to rest immediately! I certainly don't want my kids running around calling everything BAE! Oh, did we tell you what it stands for? According to some "cool kids," (aka middle-schoolers) it means "Before Anyone Else'. Again, it doesn't really make sense. Here's an example: "Bae, I love you" translates to "Before Anyone Else, I love you." Yep, still hate it!!! In the words of Regina...

Finally!!! We have finished the 5 moments to remember from 2014 and can move on to E and I! We want to recap OUR 2014. We want to share with you a few photos from each month. Let's get started...

JANUARY

At the start of 2014, we were wrapping up our last round of Clomid with our OBGYN. If you followed us on YouTube, you would've seen a few videos from our Fertility Specialist visit. Now, almost one year later, our plans have drastically changed. We can't give out too much detail in regards to our TTC journey (since we know you are all wondering what happened to that), but we can let you know that we will be sharing some updates with you in just a few days. 

FEBRUARY

Pretty much all of February was spent with this little munchkin, Miss Alli. You may remember some of my 2013 posts which featured this little ones beautiful mama. Well Alli is now a year old, walking, and absolutely stunning like her mama. I still can't even believe that she is already one! I can say that I am looking forward to watching her continue to grow. Aside from her growth, she also has crazy, but beautiful curly hair. It will be interesting to see her in her pre-teens, but let's not rush anything please!

MARCH

We didn't get to share a whole lot with y'all throughout 2014, but a very memorable moment for us was when my step-dad came down to visit. He was actually visiting his mother, who was very ill at the time. She was living in San Antonio before she was called to the Lord. He was really here for her but timing worked out and he was able to sneak away from her bedside to drive down to Houston and go with us to the Rodeo. We enjoyed an evening with The Band Perry before he had to drop us off at our home in Katy and head back to his mama's side. E and I felt very blessed to have spent some time with him. Currently, he is re-married, and is on active-duty in Afghanistan. We are anxiously waiting his return around March 2015. Maybe just in time for Rodeo 2015??

APRIL 

In April we headed, what seemed like, around the world! One day in particular we were crazy busy driving everywhere! First to Spring, then to Huntsville, we even stopped in College Station before heading home to Katy. 

On our way from Huntsville to College Station, E and I stopped for an impromptu photo shoot in "our" town. Alright, so it's not really "our" town but it does boast our last name so it was only right to stop for a moment and snap a picture. 

MAY 

May was a month full of emotions... 

First, on May 3, we mourned for what would have been our first baby's birthday. It's still hard to imagine that we should have a baby in our arms, but we have to understand that it was part of His plan. We lost our first baby back in October of 2013, after a miscarriage at 8 weeks 5 days.

After mourning and realizing that we were blessed to have at least been able to get pregnant, we celebrated our four year anniversary. Above is a picture from our Senior Prom in 2010. Erik asked me "out" at Prom on May 8, 2010! Hard to believe four years have gone by so fast. 

A few days later, on May 12, we celebrated our two year wedding anniversary. I don't think anyone can really prepare for anniversaries. They are exciting moments but then you realize just how much time has passed and all the memories from that time come back to mind. I still remember our wedding day and feel like it was just yesterday! It's hard to believe I was only nineteen and E was only twenty. We were such babies but I swear we thought we were thirty. I'm very blessed to be married and I am so glad we decided to get married young. I don't know how we would've handled all our struggles throughout the years if not for our three rope lifestyle; E, Me, and God at the center of it all. I am thankful for four long years and two incredible wedding anniversaries. I especially look forward to number three, but it can certainly take it's time getting here.

JUNE

On June 29, we got to see and meet The Fray! It was such an awesome moment. Erik has always been a big fan of The Fray and somehow, I was lucky enough to win him tickets to not only see them in concert, but to watch their sound check and meet them. It was so much fun and they really are a Godly group, which made the concert that much more exciting. The funny part is, we didn't even get to stay and watch them perform during the concert part because it was a Sunday night and they weren't scheduled to go-on until 11pm. E and I had to leave early because the concert was all the way downtown and we both had to be up at 4am. We both admit that we were bummed but very thankful for getting to meet this amazing group and we even got to watch some pretty interesting bands perform and we look forward to their return. Maybe we will even get to say we saw them live before they made it big...who knows!

JULY

E and I didn't really get to share this with y'all like we wanted to, but our cruise was such fun! I was hoping we would have been able to write while we were on the cruise, almost like a daily log or daily dairy post, but neither of us realized just how busy we would be! I mean, from about 6am to mid-night, we were running rampant on the ship, constantly trying to do "everything!" Looking back, I still wouldn't change a thing. Some people ask us why we didn't try to "rest" more, and to be honest with you, it was so much fun that E and I agree, we wouldn't have wanted it any other way. We are both eager to take off on our next cruise but with the imminent changes ahead for 2015, our plans for another cruise haven't been set yet. Maybe when we release all the details/plans for 2015, it will make more sense...

Our cruise set off from Galveston, TX, and we spent five days on the Carnival Triumph. Our first stop was Progresso, Mexico which turned out to be one of the less-attractive places to stop. Although, we still made the best of it. E and I were able to get a 45-minute massage each for just $15 per person, so I really can't complain. Even better, the massages were on the beach, literally on the sand only twenty or so steps from the clear-blue water.  Here are some pictures from Progreso, Mexico...

Massages on the beach!!!!

E enjoying the soft, white sand.

I now have an obsession with lighthouses (remember that because you'll see another one real soon). I snapped this as we were walking through the streets of Mexico. 

As I mentioned, Progresso was not the most stunning place ever, but I did find it totally hilarious that as I tried to "sneak" a picture of one of the Mexican soldiers on guard as we entered the port on a bus, he actually saw me and smiled for the camera. I didn't get to talk to him, since we were in a moving bus, but I did wave at him and smile back so he knew I wasn't crazy, and also as a thank you for not being a total jerk! 

After we left Progesso, we then sailed off to Cozumel, Mexico and "OMG", it was beautiful y'all! Here is an underwater picture I snapped with my iPhone 5!

Here is E flexing his muscles while we enjoyed snorkeling in the Caribbean waters. This is actually one of my favorite pictures of him during this trip. 

Here I am enjoying the sunshine after our snorkel adventure at one of the mini Mayan Ruins. Ok, so this isn't really a Mayan Ruin, it's actually a small replica of one of the actual Mayan Ruins, but still it's adorable and made for a fun picture!

After our snorkeling adventure, we enjoyed a private beach party with kayaks, water slides and trampolines, hammocks, and jet-skis. Here is a quick picture of us on a kayak in the beautiful water. 

Ignore me please, let's focus on that water! Again this was during the private beach party. Oh, E and I were both red as lobsters after this day because we both completely forgot to use sun-block.

Does this not look like a postcard? Well, it's not! This is Cozumel!!!! I love this panorama I took.

Here is an underwater photo I took with my iPhone 5. Do not attempt to put your iPhone underwater!!! Want to know how we did it? Check out this link: http://www.amazon.com/Amphibian-Weather-Waterproof-iPhone-Cover/dp/B004NPBNJK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420000976&sr=8-1&keywords=amphibian+iphone+case. I was extremely nervous about using this waterproof iPhone case but it worked! We did do testing at home in the bathtub before going on the cruise and had no problems. We were able to dive into the water and use the case just fine to capture tons of fun photos!

AUGUST

E and I had a blast spending an entire day at a concert in the Woodlands. We watched three amazing bands including Fall Out Boy (my favorite band of all time), Paramore, and New Politics (a new band). Each of them was amazing and made the night so much fun!!! Here is a picture of Fall Out Boy rocking out!

They weren't as energetic as they have been in the years before, but they still left us with a smile on our faces and the energy around us from the other concert-goers was incredible!

Pre-concert selfie=CHECK! I mean who goes anywhere nowadays without first taking a selfie? I'd also like to point out that we look so cute, so it had to be done. Regardless of the cute selfie, the concert was amazing and we are looking forward to more fun concerts.

SEPTEMBER

Once again, we didn't get to share this amazing trip with y'all as much as we wanted to but needless to say, it was FAN-TAS-TIC!!!

Can I just say that Las Vegas took all our money? Well, that's not entirely true. We won on quite a few machines and even killed it on the Blackjack tables, but somehow we still blew all of that and left with less than we had planned. *sigh* Either way, this trip was so much fun and BONUS, we spent it with family! Nothing beats a trip together like spending it with hilarious family members. 

Upon our arrival in Vegas, E, his sister, his cousin, his dad and I all took part in a hilarious game of Live Zombie Paintball! So the Zombies weren't really dead (queue the boooooo!), but it was such fun and believe it or not, it really got the adrenaline pumping. I mean we were all pretty nervous because we didn't want them to touch us. I think regardless of them being alive, everyone still likes to pretend they are dead. I mean who doesn't, at least once in a while, wonder if they would survive a Zombie attack?? Either way, this is definitely a "must-do" while your in Vegas! The cast is great, very dead-like and they were pretty creepy! E's dad took a pretty hard tumble, managed to scrap his arm, but he got up like a champ and even laughed it off later. The best part, we got real paintball guns to shoot at the "zombies", who doesn't love shooting teenagers with paintballs? Kidding! 

Aside from paintball shooting wanna-be teenage zombies, staying up way too late, and spending countless amounts of money in casinos, we did take time to enjoy some of the other great things about Vegas. We walked through the M&M World, even watched their 3D show, we also went to see Cirque Du Soleil and Carrot Top, stopped by the amazing Bellagio Fountains, walked through the Bellagio's Conservatory, and we even went to Freemont St. Never been? Well, make sure you plan to stop by Freemont St., it will definitely be worth it. Don't believe me?...Google it and you'll see!

Ah the Bellagio...I mean really?! It's too beautiful not to include in our review so let's just take a moment to love this photo... I mentioned that we spent this trip with family right? Well let me just list who all was in attendance. Erik, Me, E's mom, dad and sister, his cousins Adrian and Jordan, and his aunt Debbie and his uncle Mike. We "turned down for what" in Vegas as a Family for a week before heading home and saying goodbye to E's aunt, uncle, and cousins as they headed to their home in California. 

Oh, and I forgot to mention that we also celebrated my 22nd birthday. We didn't do anything crazy, just dinner with E and I, and his awesome parents!

OCTOBER

At the beginning of October, E and I took a little trip to the Magnolia area to partake in our favorite tradition...The Texas Renaissance Festival! This year, to my surprise, we only attended for one weekend, but we made the most of it. Erik and I both participated in two of the shows during the festival. I was shocked because Erik never wants to do anything that requires him to get up in front of an audience, but he did and he enjoyed himself.

We also celebrated Erik's 23rd birthday! I threw him a surprise party with close friends and family members at the Houston Texans Grille in CityCentre. The "theme" of the party was Texans and I was so happy that all the guests showed up in Texans gear! I blindfolded him so he couldn't see where we were going or what we were doing.

Here's a picture of the group surprising Erik! See all the Texans shirts? I'm glad it was a surprise and E had a blast.

I was even able to reserve the patio for him and guests only! There were huge TVs, pool tables, and it was outside so we were able to enjoy the nice, cool air. It really turned out to be a wonderful night.

Finally, we celebrated with our good friends, Alexa and Josh (not pictured). They actually struggled with infertility too. Alexa was diagnosed with PCOS but to their surprise, they were able to get pregnant and now, our Goddaughter Madison will be born in less than 30 days! We cannot wait for her safe arrival. Currently, Alexa and Josh reside in Arkansas so we won't be able to see Madi after her birth, but we will be able to see her when they come down for her christening in February.

NOVEMBER 

For Thanksgiving, E and I were able to visit my grandmother in Florida. I hadn't seen her in almost 5 years and it was such a blessing to be able to spend a holiday with her. She is currently the only living relative I have left that actually talks and keeps up with me regularly, Most of my family is disconnected from me after the deaths of my mother, father, and grandmother. This grandmother is living in Florida and is my mom's mom. We've had our ups and downs over the years, but she has really changed and has opened up to me so much more now. I feel a connection now more than ever, and E and I look forward to visiting my Grandma Lana and Pop Rob more frequently throughout the coming years.

Remember earlier when I said to remember my obsession with ;ighthouses? Well, here's another one! I told E that I wanted to make it a habit to visit one lighthouse, if possible, at every destination we visit. I know not many places have a lighthouse anymore, but I would like to at least try. I think they are just so beautiful! This particular one is in St. Augustine, FL, less than an hour away from Gainsville, FL where my grandmother currently resides. 

Here we are at the tippy-top of the lighthouse. We climbed more than 250 steps to get to the top and my goodness it was windy up there! We were practically being blown over but it made for a great photo.

 After our lighthouse adventure, E and I took part in picking from trees. We picked oranges, grapefruits, and lemons, all from trees grown on my grandma and pop Rob's property. Those were the buckets we took home with us. We had oranges for weeks after we returned home.

Erik even took part in shooting my Pop Rob's BB-guns. He had a blast and I must say that I really love this photo of him. For some reason it reminds of me of the quote; "you'll shoot your eye out."

I had to include this photo because I have a feeling that in a few years, E will take a photo just like this except our son or daughter will be beside him. I just love this photo and cherish it.

 

Because the property was so beautiful, we had to do an impromptu photo shoot but I only wanted a few with our silhouettes...not bad for a camera being held up by a wooden post and a self-timer. They are actually much cuter than the real, at-that-moment version. We couldn't stop laughing and when the camera took the photos, we were both shocked at the end results. 

 Yet we still had to take some cute, non-silhouette photos and my grandmother was kind enough to get down on the dock with us and snap these precious photos! Although E and I find it funny that in both shots, it looks like Erik has a super girly leg. Overall, I think they turned out perfect and the scenery...wow!!!

The last and final photo we tooko of our Florida trip, was a photo under my grandmother's orange tree. It was a perfect way photo to commemorate our time with my family. I especially adore it because we took some of those very oranges home.

At the end of November, E and I got, what I like to call, a "weightloss bug." Basically meaning, we got the urge to lose weight. We worked really hard throughout the remainder of November and managed to lose quite a bit of weight. As you can see, I was able to go from a size 14/16 to a size 10/12! We are still working out, eating right, and taking supplements daily to promote healthy weightloss. 

DECEMBER

Finally we are at the end of our review, but not before I boast about my husband. So five Christmases ago, December 23, 2010 to be exact, E and I were a fresh, young 18 and 19 year old couple. E had just asked me "out" in May of 2010, and we had just started our first semester, Freshman year of college. I was attending community college but was planning to change to the University of Houston and Erik was attending Sam Houston State University. He had picked me up from a friends house and took me to College Station for dinner at Texas Roadhouse. I thought he would propose to me but as the night went on, he hadn't done it yet so I kept getting discouraged. It wasn't until we arrived at Santa's Wonderland in College Station, TX, where he reserved us a ride in a carriage under the thousands of Christmas lights, that he popped the question! You can see our carriage driving smiling as he pushed the ring onto my finger. We had no idea just how much we faced in the coming years. I look back at the years we've spent and laugh about this night. Mainly because just moments before this great photo, I had told Erik to be quiet so I could stare in amazement at the lights, like a child really. I laugh because I remember us moving into our first apartment in January of 2011, one month after being engaged. I remember how neither of us had money saved or jobs, but somehow we made it through (with the help of our parents haha). I remember the fighting because he had never lived with a girl alone and I never with a boy. I remember when he got upset because I threw away perfectly good steak and then I cried because I kept burning every thing I tried to make (first time ever living on my own and I couldn't even make cereal without ruining it). I remember getting Chief, who, at the time, was WAY too expensive but E gave in and let me get him. I remember it all! As we begin 2015, I can only imagine what life has in-store for us. Maybe we will finally be able to get pregnant, maybe we won't. Maybe we will travel, maybe we won't. Maybe we will buy a house or move to another city or state, maybe we won't. To be honest, I have no idea where we will be in 2015, but I do know that I am truly blessed to have E in my life. I am thankful for December 23, 2010 because I realized that at that moment, he was truly mine. Now, after almost three years of marriage, I can really start to understand how God works. 2010, 2011, 2012, and 2013 may not have been the greatest years of our lives, we struggled a lot, but God came through in 2014. We became closer, I now see my husband more as my best friend than a husband. I can only imagine the grand plans that God has formulated for us, and we welcome them with open eyes, open hearts, open minds, and open arms. 

Here is to 2015 and saying good-bye to 2014!

God bless!!!